Kavalier Calm's Crowdsource Inspiration

I'm KC, The People's Bard. I write songs and poems inspired by the people I meet on the internet. Ask, and I’ll write something for you.
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  • I’ve done it again. Searched the tag “question” and found this post from sashdaley:


    sex is the question. Yes is the answer

    Thanks for the inspiration.

         Q & A Blues

    Life is too short to walk around
    all confused and lonesome.
    There’s too much to learn
    to stay in the dark.

    Darlin’, your body’s got a question,
    and mine’s got an answer.
    Just go ahead and ask,
    and I’ll give you all my advice.

    In this instance,
    ignorance is not bliss.
    But I can promise you,
    soon enough you’ll know what bliss is.


    In this you can be my pupil,
    and I’ll be your professor.
    Just put your sweet apple on my desk,
    and I’ll make sure you pass.


    Tonight’s inspiration is an entire blog: simplybek. I first fell into Bekah’s mind months ago; in fact, hers was the first Tumblr page I really enjoyed. This post is dedicated to Bekah, for her unique style and for sharing beautiful pictures and music. I wrote this song some time ago, but I didn’t get it recorded until today. I’m slowly accepting the limitations of my new Tascam; I asked it to do too much with the last few recordings. The built-in effects are too dirty to be of much value, so with this recording I went back to my minimalistic roots, and just let the grunge come in for the solo. It’s a learning process. Enjoy the tune!

         The kind of trouble I like to get into

    Long days lead to longer nights
    Hours pass in another lonely life.
    And baby, if I’m gonna make it worth a damn,
    I need to make it with you.

    Darlin’, you’re the kind of trouble
    A man could get into.

    Some say, Eli, you’ve got it all.
    A car, a nice home, a steady job.
    But where’s the thrill, I’m feeling chill,
    I need a fever, a lovin’ flu.

    Baby, you’re the kind of trouble
    A man could get into.

    (Let me get into you.)

    Don’t complicate it, darling
    It’s a simple thing.
    You’re on the ground,
    And I could give you wings.
    And up in the air,
    Darlin’, I know we won’t be so blue.

    Baby, you’re the kind of trouble
    I’d like to get into. X 2

    Tonight’s inspiration comes from Leah at runawaywithmetoneverland. I like her taste in music, and she posts images full of the youthful energy I tap into every time I sit down with my guitar. I definitely want to be a candle that burns twice as bright, even if it means burning half as long. This song deserves a band, especially a drummer; I can imagine what it would sound like in an alternate, cooler universe. Enjoy!

         Hot blooded blues

    Hey sweet lady, listen here:
    I wanna be with you,
    not far but near.
    Let’s go down to the lake,
    just you and me.
    Don’t worry, darlin’,
    this secret I’ll keep.

    Well, I’m hot blooded,
    but you’re treating me cold.
    Darlin’, what do you want?
    'Cause I can get it;
    I’ll kill if I have to.
    No man, machine, or beast
    will keep me from you.

    Don’t call me crazy
    for wanting you.
    You got every man with a mind
    turning blue.
    Others came before,
    but they were cold to the touch.
    Stop fighting darlin’.
    Hush, hush.

    Tonight’s song is about records (and a woman, of course). I first bought a record player a few years ago when I realized that my university’s library had a massive vinyl collection. Records perfectly play to my minimalist heartstrings. Something about seeing the vibrations taking place and the raw graininess gets me every time. When I was writing the lyrics, I browsed these two blog for inspiration: recordporn and thevinylcornerblog. Thanks to both bloggers for the spark. Enjoy!

         Broken record blues

    Keep falling in love with the same girl,
    over and over again.
    Soon as I think I’ve quit her,
    she’s back at my door with a grin.

    Yeah, she loves my diamond—
    Yeah, she love my stylus—
    the style of us is dangerous.

    She always comes beggin’ for money,
    and I can’t say no to her vinyl skin.
    It’s scratched and warped,
    but, damn, it makes music beneath me.


    Well, I’ve been steady with a few girls before,
    nice girls with no flaws.
    But every time she comes around,
    I answer her call.


    Well, she’s unpolished.
    Well, she’s incomplete.
    But she feels so real;
    oh, she can’t be beat.


    Tonight’s posting is for the blogger over at billygayvegan. For weeks, Eli and I have enjoyed this blog’s rock and blues-centric images. And then this post just came up:

    I really want something new.

    Here’s something new for you, and we hope you enjoy it as much as we enjoy your blog. The lyrics are based off an image of words that has been floating around the Tumblrverse lately: “Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer.”

    And remember listeners. Eli’s only going to find his lost love if you share his music. It’s the only way she’ll know he’s looking. Your help is priceless to us. — K.C.

    Today is a special day at CI. With this song we announce a new session artist at the project: Clementine. Clem’s got a big voice and an even bigger heart, both of which will be used heavily around here. We thought it best to make her official debut with this rockin’, racy piece. She wrote the lyrics, I wrote the guitar part, she made her lyrics fit, and then I made the mix. It’s pretty powerful for just three tracks, and it’s easy to imagine how beautiful it could be with a band. The magic of this is that we made it despite being a 1000+ miles apart (thank you, again, internet gods for email). Clementine works for a traveling circus, so we have to create on the sly, from afar. Her whole bio can and should be read on our Artists page. In honor of her coming to the scene, we devote this song to some awesome blogs with heavy doses of female power/rock content: fuckyeahfemalemusic, afuryofchicks, projectionofme, and strawberrylemonadedream. We hope everyone enjoys this tune because we promise many more in the near future. — K.C.  

         Be Quiet

    Don’t speak.
    Without words, only touch is left,
    And that can’t be faked.

    Be quiet to me
    Oh, please, oh
    Be quiet to me.
    Hush your mouth,
    Use it like this.

    Stand still.
    We’re easier to catch and keep
    in a trap of is bare skin.

    Don’t speak. Just shhh.
    Anything you could say now
    could wake us from the dream.


    In silence like this
    everything pulses, booms and beats.
    Can’t mishear fingers, no.


    So, we found this beautiful picture, posted by jorejanus, and Eli said he had to write a song. He created this gem in minutes. This is devoted to the photographer, of course, and the beauty in the photo, but we wanted someone else to devote it to. And by chance Lizz just asked:

    So if you could put anything in my hand, what would it be?

    This song is your answer, Lizz. Eli wants to be a flower in your hand—because you’re pretty. We are buzzing right now with the intensity of this recording; Eli’s calluses failed him and his fingers were bleeding. Enjoy everyone. Enjoy. — K.C.

         Flower In Your Hand

    Girl, I want to be
    the flower in your hand.

    The winter is long.
    And when the spring comes.
    I’d like to be
    the flower in your hand.

    Girl you know,
    I can treat you right.
    Girl you know
    that you should hold on tight.

    Girl, I want to be
    the flower in your hand.

    Darlin’, you could choose
    any one you wish,
    and I hope
    I’m the one you pick.

    Girl, I want to be
    the flower in your hand.

    Tonight’s song is about Sleeping Beauty, sang from the perspective of the Prince. I twisted the circumstances of the classic story to make it a bit more…adult; this certainly isn’t the Disney version. Really, when you think about it, the Prince is in a position to make demands like these. This song is devoted to these blogs with quality Sleeping Beauty/Disney content: fairytalemood, thecouplesofdisney, disneyxovers, dandydisney, disneyprincessfanart, butpeterhowdowegettoneverland, and disneyisawesome. Thanks for the inspiration, bloggers.

         Sleeping Beauty

    I have a white horse,
    and I have a chiseled chin.
    I fought a dragon to climb this tower,
    and I beat the old witch.

    But before I wake you from your slumber,
    I want a guarantee
    that when you wake, you’ll climb right back
    into that bed with me.

    A handsome prince like me
    has so many needs.
    Oh, Beauty, I don’t want to sleep;
    I want to lay you down and dream an active dream.

    I’ll bring flowers to all your godmothers,
    and I’ll never ask you to sew.
    And I am in no rush to get married
    or have an heir to the throne.


    This is my third song about a Disney Princess; if you’d like to hear the others, find them via Popular Songs. Would love to get some requests for other, similar songs. Enjoy everyone! — K.C.

    Today’s song is for the beauty Eliza from Manchester over at radikool. An image of her lips was trending this morning. Eli and I noticed because they are quite nice lips. And then we checked out her blog and appreciated her taste in music. Eli knew it was time for a song. We wrote and recorded this in all of an hour. Hope you enjoy, Eliza, and anyone else listening! — K.C.

         Lips Like Yours

    I’ve been with more women
    than I care to admit.
    Good women, bad women,
    and some I forget.
    But I’d settle down,
    and I’d clean up my act

    if I could just get a taste
    of lips like yours.

    Yeah, I’m a drifting man,
    I move round and round.
    But I’d stay right here
    to fix that frown.
    I’d hold a steady job
    just to hold you

    and get a taste
    of lips like yours.

    Lips like yours
    are hard to find.
    Lips like yours
    will keep me satisfied.

    Now, I know what you’ve heard, darlin’,
    and it’s all true.
    But I promise
    I won’t leave you blue.
    Something in a man
    changes and breaks

    when he wants a taste
    of lips like yours.
    And I want a taste
    of lips like yours.

    Tonight’s tune is for Lola over at lolapetit. When I first saw her blog a few weeks ago, I developed a mild Tumblr-crush and wanted to write a song for her. One unique thing Lola blogs about is her interest in older men (especially George Clooney!). So, I was pondering the perks of being with a boy (free-spirt, adventuresome, impassioned) versus a man (confident, strong, experienced), and I realized what most women probably need is someone who can be a boy at times and a man at times; hence the words sung in the refrain. Given the topic, this song is also devoted to weloveoldermen and menandcoolgirls; I think these bloggers will appreciate the story this song is telling. I wrote the lyrics as something of an unspoken dialogue between a woman and a man (an eye-alogue? ha!), so Clementine lent me her vocal instrument. Because we can’t record in the same room, the emotion is not as heavy as it could be; still, I like the way it turned out. Clem’s voice has a wonderful, husky-hot character. I imagine us singing this song in a smoky lounge full of cocktail drinkers. Maybe I’ll write a dozen such songs and bring that style of performance back? —K.C.


    I’ve seen you, and I know that you’ve seen me.
    So come here and tell me what I want to hear.

    I can be a boy when you want.
    I can be a man when you need.
    I can be everything in between.

    I promise to give, baby.
    I promise to give all of me.

    Damn, you’re forward, but I like that in a man.
    Life’s too short to play a game with me.
    I could take you home if you make it clear.
    So come here, come here, and tell me what I want to hear.


    Oh, like other strong men,
    you like to promise big.
    So come here and tell me:


    Zombies, sex, and a beautiful face are the three topics for this rock song. When I hinted to Bella over at elusivezombie that I wanted to write her a song, I asked which of those three topics I should focus on. She said, “I dislike restricting artists.” What a lovely answer. Thus, I thought up a way to write about all three. I imagined seeing Bella in a coffee shop and what type of story it would take to get her to come home with me. The one in the lyrics just might work. Her only request was distortion, and I gave her heaps of it. I took snippets of language from her poetic blog, like “cozy lies,” “teeky,” and the idea of love-making as a “flow.” Bella, thank you for the inspiration. This post is also devoted to i-heartzombies (who requested a zombie song just last night), to zombiepussyliquor and zombieslaughter (hot zombie lovers like Bella), and to nixombie, zombie-island, and zombiemania (good zombie content blogs)!! When I started this songwriting project, I didn’t know I’d write a zombie-based love song, let alone two. Maybe there will be more? If you want to hear the first one, also, go here. — K.C.

         Cozy Lies

    You are sipping on coffee
    and reading a book on the films of George A. Romero.
    I study your face like it is the first I’ve ever seen,
    with dark eyes like windows,
    and dark curls like frames.

    And I know you are my muse.
    And I know I have to have you,
    and to get you, I’ll tell cozy lies.

    I sit down and tell you I have a secret.
    You humor me and look up from your book.
    I tell you I work in a lab,
    a medical lab, and tomorrow is our big day,
    when we release the virus, a zombie virus,
    and infect the whole population.
    Your eyebrows raise and you cover your mouth
    with your hand all in mock surprise.


    You are too beautiful to suffer this fate, I exclaim.
    I have the vaccine, and you’re the only one I want to save.
    I have the vaccine, and it’s back in my room, hidden under my bed.
    Come with me, and I’ll give it you; I’ll give you all I have.

    So we teeky back to my room,
    and I give you the cure right there on my bed,
    all the cure I’ve got, until you feel far from dead.
    Until we flow, flow together, and feel far from dead.
    And we lay, cozy and living out my lie.

    I’ve written another Disney Princess song, this time a satire about Ariel. This song’s about why I’d rather not fall in love with a mermaid. Sorry, Ariel. This is tasteful humor, I assure you; the lyrics are wonderfully subtle (until the last word). I’m devoting this post to some of my favorite blogs with inspiring LOL/audio content: stream.pleated-jeans, alan-hanson, carolineeand, and kellaroot. Couldn’t go a day without posting for my followers—even though I’m on the road—so I wrote and recorded this in the back seat of my car. The grainy audio has a certain charm at least. My other Disney Princess songs can be found here and here. As always, if you like CI’s work, share it! Enjoy your weekend everyone! — K.C.

         Mermaid, You Ain’t Got The One Thing I Want

    When I fished you out of the ocean, you told me you were on the run—
    from a Sea Witch, from opulence, from the water.
    You begged to be saved, you promised to give me love;
    but Mermaid, you ain’t got the one thing I want.

    Mermaid, you can’t have what I want between
    if you don’t have legs.

    I was trying to catch a meal, and I caught a problem.
    Why would I  take the baggage of a woman without the one joy that follows?
    Something smells fishy and not in the way I like.
    This is a raw deal; your sashima ain’t shaped right.


    You are a miracle, a rare magic maid,
    but it don’t mean nothing to my common need.
    Sorry, Mermaid, but I’m throwing you back.
    Don’t grab my bait again ‘til you find legs. And a snatch.

    So, I was thinking about Stella Artois (because I like thinking about beer) and realized I could write a song about a foreign girl name Stella. After I finished the lyrics, Eli said he wanted to work with them. Bam! We devote this to a few foreign girls we follow—a-sloth, littledarlin, neuewave, getmeoutofamerica—and to these blogs that recently tagged Stella or blues: missindiependent, yourrollingtrain, floraa-, perpetuallypreoccupied, and kittiesandbeer. Enjoy everyone. And share it with the American boys and foreign girls you know. — K.C.

         American Boys

    Stella, I’ve never been with a foreign girl.
    I don’t know what you’ve felt, what you’ve learned.
    But we American boys have a few talents of our own;
    darling, I’ll show you when we get back home.
    I can show you what American boys are good for:
    a laugh, a dinner, a show, and a moan.
    We American boys have a few tricks up our sleeves,
    and I can show you, darling; it’d be so easy.

    Stella, I know you won’t regret one night with me.
    In fact, you’ll probably beg for more.
    I plan to leave you begging for more of that American boy.

    Yeah, let me whisper sweet nothings in your ear.
    You’ll laugh at my accent, but it’ll make you warm.
    We American boys know how to use our words;
    like keys, turning, turning you on.
    These hands of mine are bruised and broken from years of work;
    but they can be gentle when the job demands.
    American boys know how to use their bodies;
    and, darling, I know how to use yours!


    This was the fourth song written in the CI studio last Friday; it was a very productive day that ended with Eli suddenly, furiously belting out this tune. The recording is raw because, per usual, I can’t get the man to sit down for longer than one take. It’s about that woman again—the woman who got away. You can read about her and his quest to find her in the description to Eli’s first album, here. Tonight’s track is devoted to these cool/interesting blogs we found searching #blues and #snake: girlvsthecynic, jake-blues, snakepeople (so wonderfully weird), fuckyeahsnakes, and s-n-a-k-e. Check them out! We’re dropping this post quick tonight; Eli and I had a dozen good song ideas today and got some great requests from followers, so we need to get to writing. Here’s to another four song night! Enjoy everyone. And, if you do, share it. — K.C.

         Cold Blooded Snake

    Why’d you leave? Was it for another man?
    Did he treat you right in ways I can’t?
    And now you’re back and expect me to let you in
    to the void you made when you left.

    You’re as cold blooded as a snake
    if you think I didn’t mourn your loss.
    But I’ve been better off
    since you’ve been gone,
    you snake, you snake.

    And you dare think that you can just slink
    back into this warm bed.
    But I remember you, all of you,
    that means the good and the bad.


    You can take your venom elsewhere.
    I don’t want to buy what you sell.
    And if the choice is between you or living slow,
    I choose to skip your poison and die alone.


    Tumblrverse: Can you give us the first name of a woman and where she’s from?

    Elijah Cash is working on a new blues song called “Singing for Women”, and we want your help writing the lyrics. We need the name of a woman and where she’s from (could be your name, ladies, or fictional); for example, Susie from South Dakota or Maggie from Maine (the alliteration is coincidental/optional). When we post the song, we will devote it to the bloggers whose submissions were selected as a part of the lyrics. Thanks in advance all you beautiful bloggers.

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