For awhile now, I’ve been trying to think of another Poke-themed song (“Ditto” was my first). Tonight I was reading the great poke-problems blog, and all I could think about was the HM problem in the games; it was always so lame to waste one of a quality Pokemon’s four precious move slots on an HM, but it was also annoying having some HM-only Pokemon and constantly having to switch them out at a Poke-center. And then it hit me; I could write a song using all of the wonderful HM/TM names in the lyrics! So, I decided to write a love song—about how nothing could keep me from my girl—and I used most of the First Gen HMs/TMs as lyrics. This was so fun to write because the move names are so diverse. For your edification, in the lyrics below I capitalized all the words referring to a Poke-move. The best part about this, is someone that knows zilch about Pokemon would just think it’s another love song. I devote this song to poke-problems, fypokemon, pokemon-mind-control, allpokemonallthetime, and all-that-is-pokemon—great blogs! Enjoy everyone! Free downloads of this song can be found here, and it can be found on YouTube here. If you like it, share it (Twitter, Facebook, etc.); and if you have an idea for another song, message me! — Kavalier Calm
No Substitute
Baby, if you’re ever kidnapped;
I’ll do everything in my power to get you back.
Because you have no Substitute.
If you’re taken by a ninja,
I’ll do the Swords Dance with him;
give him my Rage, my Dragon Rage.
I’ll Body Slam, Skull Bash, and Seismic Toss him.
If a prince tries to woo you away
with his throne and his big Pay Day,
Swift as a Thunderbolt, I’ll be there to Counter
with my Strength. Yeah, I’ll beat him into Submission!
If a wizard grabs you and Teleports away,
I’ll Fly, Dig, and Surf over every piece of this earth,
until I find him. And when I do I’ll Reflect his Psychic spells
until his mind’s Softboiled and Toxic,
oh, until that Dream Eater is dead.
And, darling, if a dragon flies off with you,
I will hunt him down.
And our battle will be so epic,
it will shake the ground.
There’ll be Earthquakes, Fire Blasts,
Rock Slides, Explosions, and the sounds of Thunder.
And when he tries to Take me Down
I’ll give him a lethal Tri Attack:
Water Gun, Razor Wind, and Bubblebeam—
I’ll make a Blizzard out of him.
CHORUS