Kavalier Calm's Crowdsource Inspiration

I'm KC, The People's Bard. I write songs and poems inspired by the people I meet on the internet. Ask, and I’ll write something for you.
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  • I wrote a silly song about an ever-drinking night named Puke who rids the Kingdom of a dragon. It’s supposed to be like a traditional bard or minstrel tune. Yes, like Puke, I’ve been drinking. — Kavalier, The People’s Bard

    When I write a song about another’s love life, I’m filled with such jealousy. I’d say 90% of the emotion in my music is envy.

    Wrote this tune in response to a writing prompt on reddit that said: “Using the 2nd person, write a gradual descent into madness wherein the reader does not immediately realize it is happening.” I just started learning piano this week; please forgive my clunkiness. — Kavalier

         You Never Really Loved Her Anyway

    You never really loved her anyway.
    She made you laugh, but you knew she wouldn’t stay.
    You knew a day would come when she wouldn’t come home.
    That’s why you kept her off your heart’s throne.

    You kept your photos of her up on the walls
    and spoke to her when you passed them in the hall.
    You laughed to yourself like it was all a big joke,
    and you kept laughing when they came because they saw the smoke
    from your burning home,
    the one you both shared.

    Now she’s really gone. Even your mementos of her.
    You poured extra gasoline on her stuff to be sure.
    All those photos turned to ash, and that’s okay.
    You can’t hang pictures on padded walls anyway.

    First attempt at recording with my new (used) piano. Inspired by this fantastic photograph. Much love. — Kavalier

         Ocean Flower Girl

    I’m not sure what to call you.
    Words seem weak for your beauty.
    You’re open and bright like a flower,
    and deep like the sea.
    I don’t know if I can hold you in my hands without falling to my knees.
    I don’t know if I can hold you in my lungs without drowning.
    Oh, ocean flower girl, you’re a mystery to me.

    Girl at the bar: So what do you do with your free time?
    Me: I like to play guitar and sing.
    Girl at the bar: Oh, one of those types. I bet you know every Dave Matthews song.
    Me: Actually, I don't know any Dave Matthews songs.
    Girl at the bar: So what do you play?
    Me: Mostly my own stuff.
    Girl at the bar: Ha! Suuuure. How many songs have you written?
    Me: I don't know. Several hundred.
    Girl at the bar: ...Oh. What do you write about?
    Me: Not girls like you. *take shot, walk away*

         Sing You To Sleep

    Baby, I know you’ve had a hard day,
    and I can’t make the pain go away.
    Just shut your eyes and weep,
    while I sing you to sleep.
    Ooo, better days will come.
    Ooo, dream sweetly, love.
    Ooo, shut your eyes and weep,
    while I sing you to sleep.

    Hannah asked me to write a tune for her girlfriend Savannah. I loved the sound of their names, so I obliged. In the second verse I subtly show that I’m proud of them for having a love that in our world, unfortunately, isn’t easy to have. Let’s all give these two brave girls a round of applause. Much love, all. — Kavalier

    One of my songs was used in a cat video on YouTube. I’ve finally made it. I’m winning the internet. — Kavalier Calm

    If you want to write songs, you have to learn to see the music in things. Anyone can learn the math behind making music, but very few can identify stories or images or moments that are worthy of being retold through song, that have enough feeling to be the foundation for a song. Doing this requires emotional awareness but also humility. Because you may wish to focus on your instrument and telling stories of your choosing, but you must also recognize that you are the world’s instrument, and it wants to use you to tell stories.

    i guess my screen did a thing about your cat song…it’s a sign.

    I saw the sign. And I believe.

    I’m writing a song for a guy who is a closet cat lover. What am I doing with my life?

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