Kavalier Calm's Crowdsource Inspiration

I'm KC, The People's Bard. I write songs and poems inspired by the people I meet on the internet. Ask, and I’ll write something for you.
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  • Here is a response to the question that went unanswered. I came up with the concept for this song after repeatedly reading the question. I started to wonder why I asked about the first kiss, rather than the last kiss. Then, I realized in some very unfortunate situations, the first and last kiss are one in the same. I penned some of the verses randomly for a few days. I sat down with the guitar at 4 pm yesterday and had this song recorded by 4:45.

         First/last kiss

    The good thing about whisky
    is you only remember the fun.
    The bad thing about whisky
    is you only remember the fun.
    And I don’t remember your name, darlin,
    or where you said you were from.
    And I wish I could get you out of my head
    cause I’ll never see you again.

    But that first kiss
    had everything a man could wish for.
    Your breath was sweet
    and warm in my mouth.
    I only wish I’d known
    that that first kiss would be our last.

    Now my friends say you are a ghost—
    that I left alone.
    But I know my imagination ain’t good enough
    to have made you up.
    And, darlin, I can’t remember your name
    or where you said you were from.
    And I wish I could forget you
    cause I’ll never see you again.

    But that first kiss
    had everything a man could wish for.
    Your breath was sweet
    and warm in my mouth.
    I only wish I’d known
    that that first kiss would be our last.

    How would you describe a cruel lover?

    The other night I was tapping my finger and started singing:

    Well, I could never love a woman as cruel as you. ( X 2 )
    You’re mean to my mother, and you’re worse with my friends.
    I could never love a woman as cruel as you.

    Well, you say such awful things to wilt my pride.
    You say such awful things to make me feel dead inside.
    I could never love a woman as cruel as you. ( X 2 )

    Parameters: How would you describe a cruel lover? Give me a line or two. The lyric can be simple—in fact, should be. This recording will be very bluesy/jazzy. I may not even have my guitar.

    Expected response time: Sunday night.

    Finally got this recorded. Again, no response, but I made up the rest. Time to move on. I really liked the way this turned out; it has so much room to grow. It sounded very different every time I tried recording it. I can imagine a muted trumpet crying in the background or some harmony with a female vocalist, especially on the final verse.

    Well, I could never love a woman as cruel as you. ( X 2 )
    You’re mean to my mother, and you’re worse with my friends.
    I could never love a woman as cruel as you.

    Well, you say such awful things to wilt my pride.
    You say such awful things to make me feel dead inside.
    I could never love a woman as cruel as you. ( X 2 )

    You got poison in those veins, and you beg me to drink;
    You got ice in that heart, and you want me to freeze.
    I could never love a woman as cruel as you. ( X 3 )

    If you had to choose between deafness or blindness, which would you choose and why?

    If you had to choose deafness or blindness, which would you choose and why? Your responses will help me shape my lyrics.

    Expected response time: End of the weekend.

         Beautiful woman

    I won’t deny that you are the most
    beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
    But unlike all those other boys
    I won’t go wobbly at the knees.

    Just accept that I’m a man
    you can’t defeat.

    If you swallow some of that pride
    and stop looking down at me.
    I can promise you, darling,
    I’ll give you something you need.

    Chorus

    I ain’t a stallion you can break,
    but I can be ridden hard.
    Give me my due respect,
    and I’ll take you far!

    Chorus

    You hang the pelts of strong men
    on your mental walls.
    Well, that ain’t no skin off my back;
    I’ve tricked hunters like you before.

    Chorus

        Spare some love

    I never thought I’d fall for someone like you,
    someone cold, but looking for some room
    to grow, and you can grow in my arms.
    But in return, I need you to spare me some of your love.
    Your love is all I need in my dreams.

    You forget how you bled on this floor,
    this killing floor, and how I mopped up your hurt.
    And you always laugh when I return,
    but I ain’t going anywhere until you spare me some of your love.
    Your love is all I need in my dreams.

    We’re riding down the river of give and take,
    and you’ve made sure the current only flows one way.
    Tear down your dams and all those bitter walls.
    Like a beggar, I’m begging for you to spare me your love.
    Your love is all I need in my dreams.

    Thanks to falling-anthem for a couple key words here: biology and manners.       

         Love you like a man

    I ain’t a boy looking for someone to mother me;
    I can stand on my own.
    Ours will not be a romance of needs;
    Trust me, what I want is all biology.

    CHORUS:
    Baby, I will love you like a man
    Baby, I will treat you the best I can
    Darlin’, why don’t you give me your hand?
    And I will love you like a man.

    I can be strong; I’ll build us a home,
    And you’ll be my cornerstone.
    When we’re safe and settled,
    I’ll love you like I’ve got nothing to lose (cause I don’t).

    CHORUS

    We can write the constitution to our love,
    Set up all the ground rules.
    I’ll give you manners and deep respect;
    Just take away my blues!

    BRIDGE:
    Baby, I know you don’t need me,
    But need, it ain’t what I want.
    Just grow old with me and be my best friend;
    I’ll pave us a road you’re proud to walk on.

    CHORUS

    I’ve done it again. Searched the tag “question” and found this post from sashdaley:

    SEX IS NOT THE ANSWER

    sex is the question. Yes is the answer

    Thanks for the inspiration.

         Q & A Blues

    Life is too short to walk around
    all confused and lonesome.
    There’s too much to learn
    to stay in the dark.

    Darlin’, your body’s got a question,
    and mine’s got an answer.
    Just go ahead and ask,
    and I’ll give you all my advice.

    In this instance,
    ignorance is not bliss.
    But I can promise you,
    soon enough you’ll know what bliss is.

    CHORUS

    In this you can be my pupil,
    and I’ll be your professor.
    Just put your sweet apple on my desk,
    and I’ll make sure you pass.

    CHORUS

    Thanks to icameisawicame for an answer to my last question:

    yes.he cheated on me at the festival,with some country bumpkin

    Now, inspiration is a coy friend. I’m not sure why, but when I read “festival” and “country bumpkin” together, I instantly started thinking a state fair. And then my mind jumped to that game where you swing the sledgehammer; turns out that attraction is called a high striker. I followed my wandering thoughts; the metaphor of a hammer and a bell were too good to resist. In a future recording, I’ll probably add a bell sound at the end. My listeners should notice, though, that I added a baseline to this song and the solo doubles in stereo through both ears (yes, listen with headphones). Not bad considering I only had two hours. Enjoy!

         High striker

    I haven’t seen you in years,
    since that date at the state fair,
    when I lost you in a strongman competition
    for your hand.
    I paid a quarter to try the high striker,
    and swung the hammer just for fun.
    The next man who paid his quarter
    swung to strike the bell.

    And when it rang, baby,
    you fell under his spell.

    When you walked by me
    the other day.
    I noticed you
    noticing me.
    Well, I ain’t a boy anymore:
    my hands are big and scarred.

    As big and scarred
    as my heart.

    Now, though I learned to be strong,
    I didn’t learn to be cruel,
    and I know you remember
    how good I was to you.
    So let’s imagine we’re back at that fair,
    and I’ve got a hammer, and you’ve got a bell.

    Yeah, high striker,
    why don’t you let me ring that bell?

    Tonight’s inspiration came from fuckiteveryday's mantra “Live Fast Die Young” and this post:

    i’m studying for finals…. seriously  finals can suck my dick. this is what i do while studying: get on tumblr, listen to music, and wish i were drunk. how do you study?

    First, thanks for your gloriously apt description of what finals can and should do. Second, you’ll notice I didn’t answer your question; in fact, I did the opposite. I’ve been the boy trying to get my girl to stop studying on many nights. I usually win because she doesn’t really need much encouragement to put the books down. Here’s a song about that conversation. (Seriously, though, good luck studying.)

    Wrote this guitar part years ago and it wasn’t until tonight that I found the words to give it. The recording is very rough; had to do this at breakneck speed.

         Live fast

    Baby, you’ve been studying all week.
    Why don’t you put those books down for awhile?
    If you want to learn something so bad,
    why don’t I show you how to have a good time?

    Why don’t you study the taste
    of warm whisky in your mouth?
    Let the fire burn on your tongue.
    Here, take a puff of this cigarette—
    and let the smoke billow out in clouds.

    Baby, why don’t you just relax?
    The only thing worth learning is how to live fast.

    Why not study the way I look at you?
    My eyes will tell you all the things I’d like to do—
    with my hands, and your skin.
    Baby, when can we go back to your room?

    Baby, why don’t you just relax?
    The only thing worth learning is how to live fast.

    Today’s inspiration comes from an entire blog I stumbled upon: weliveforjelly-tots. It’s full of beautiful images, many of insightful graffiti. One such post showed the words “wake up and live” in black ink. I ran with it. I bought myself a used Tascam DP-01fx (a digital 8-track); I am clearly still figuring all the features out. Unfortunately, when I master the song, it sounds great with the headphones plugged right into the machine, but when it transfers to the computer there is some quality loss. Still, I’m pretty pleased by this considering I got the machine in the mail yesterday. I recommend listening with headphones. The average laptop speakers will not relay the heavy distortion very well. Enjoy!

         Wake up and live

    It’s never too late
    to find yourself.
    You just got to accept
    you need to be found.

    Wake up and live

    Goin’ through the motions,
    but you might as well be dead.
    Darlin’, why don’t you let me
    get inside your head?

    Wake up and live
    Wake up and live

    You live so careful,
    you’re afraid to breathe.
    Take a chance on life,
    take a chance on me;
    you know, you’ve got
    to gamble to win.

    Wake up and live.

    Tonight’s inspiration is an entire blog: simplybek. I first fell into Bekah’s mind months ago; in fact, hers was the first Tumblr page I really enjoyed. This post is dedicated to Bekah, for her unique style and for sharing beautiful pictures and music. I wrote this song some time ago, but I didn’t get it recorded until today. I’m slowly accepting the limitations of my new Tascam; I asked it to do too much with the last few recordings. The built-in effects are too dirty to be of much value, so with this recording I went back to my minimalistic roots, and just let the grunge come in for the solo. It’s a learning process. Enjoy the tune!

         The kind of trouble I like to get into

    Long days lead to longer nights
    Hours pass in another lonely life.
    And baby, if I’m gonna make it worth a damn,
    I need to make it with you.

    Darlin’, you’re the kind of trouble
    A man could get into.

    Some say, Eli, you’ve got it all.
    A car, a nice home, a steady job.
    But where’s the thrill, I’m feeling chill,
    I need a fever, a lovin’ flu.

    Baby, you’re the kind of trouble
    A man could get into.

    (Let me get into you.)

    Don’t complicate it, darling
    It’s a simple thing.
    You’re on the ground,
    And I could give you wings.
    And up in the air,
    Darlin’, I know we won’t be so blue.

    Baby, you’re the kind of trouble
    I’d like to get into. X 2

    This post is for Eleni over at jackmegwhite, who writes: “I love Music, Jack White and Whiskey.” Those are three of my favorite things, too, so I’ll imagine she’s my girl behind the bar. In this narrative blues tune, I twist and make new the story of Robert Johnson selling his soul to the devil to learn to play the guitar; instead, the speaker in my song sells his soul to Jesus in exchange for a woman’s love. Enjoy!

         For the girl behind the bar

    Well, I was in Mississippi,
    and I went into a bar.
    I yelled, “‘Tender give me a whiskey,”
    as I took a seat.

    To my sweet surprise,
    a pretty little thing brought me my drink.
    And I said, “Hey, baby,
    why don’t you take a seat?”
    But she laughed as she walked away.

    So I took my shot
    and went up to the bar.
    And I said, “Hey, baby,
    what’s it gonna take?”

    She said, “Are you a God fearing man?”
    I thought, I could be if that’s what it takes
    to get in your pants.
    But I just grinned and said, “Baby,
    I ain’t afraid of nothing.”
    She said, “If I was yours,
    you’d be afraid to lose me.
    And a jealous man
    is the one who beats.”

    With that she turned away,
    And for the first time in my life I prayed.
    "Lord, lord, what will it take?"

    You know they say Robert sold his soul to the devil
    just to learn to play guitar.
    Well, I sold my soul to Jesus
    for the girl behind the bar. X2

    Oh, Devil, I miss you
    and all of your sweet sin.
    But I’d trade it all in
    to be in a Kingdom with her
    that never ends.

    This song is for Alex over at strawberriesandcigars. I like her blog, her taste in music, and her smile. This is a simple tune full of complicated feelings. Enjoy!

         Wonder

    Well, I’ve never met a girl quite like you before.
    You ain’t so tall, but you’re sharp and a bit unusual,
    and I’m beginning to like that you never say what I expect:
    the same old fluff about love eternal and how the heart never forgets.

    And I don’t know who hurt you but, Lord, praise him
    because your heart’s in two beautiful pieces; won’t you let me heal it?
    And if you say I’m not your type, I would agree with that.
    But your type’s never done so well in the past, so why not give mine a chance?

    And I bet you wonder why I wonder…X 2

    What it would be like to love a girl like you.
    One who ain’t so tall but stands so tall she fills the room.
    A girl so strong, she makes me quake with fear;
    a girl so far gone, I ain’t even sure if she’s here.

    And I bet you wonder why I wonder…X 2

    Tonight’s inspiration comes from Leah at runawaywithmetoneverland. I like her taste in music, and she posts images full of the youthful energy I tap into every time I sit down with my guitar. I definitely want to be a candle that burns twice as bright, even if it means burning half as long. This song deserves a band, especially a drummer; I can imagine what it would sound like in an alternate, cooler universe. Enjoy!

         Hot blooded blues

    Hey sweet lady, listen here:
    I wanna be with you,
    not far but near.
    Let’s go down to the lake,
    just you and me.
    Don’t worry, darlin’,
    this secret I’ll keep.

    Well, I’m hot blooded,
    but you’re treating me cold.
    Darlin’, what do you want?
    'Cause I can get it;
    I’ll kill if I have to.
    No man, machine, or beast
    will keep me from you.

    Don’t call me crazy
    for wanting you.
    You got every man with a mind
    turning blue.
    Others came before,
    but they were cold to the touch.
    Stop fighting darlin’.
    Hush, hush.

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