Some nights you just have to drink a whole bottle of wine and cry about not being famous.
My blog turned 3 years old today. I’ve written almost 400 full-length songs in that time, mostly as gifts for strangers I’ve met through the internet.
These have been the best 3 years of my life.
Most people are trying to win at life. I’m trying to win at the internet.
The more I win at the internet, the more I lose at my life.
*gets down on one knee* will you please give me the wifi password?
I’m not sure if we’re ready to share a connection like that.
Tumblr’s creator Karp revealed in June 2012 that “between 2 and 4 percent of Tumblr’s traffic is porn-related.” That must mean between 98 and 96 percent of Tumblr’s traffic is selfie, cat gifs, or pizza related.
The timing of this message is so bizarre. I was on the metro today, looking at all the strangers, and realized that for the most part, people are just props on the stage of my life. There are just so many people that most of the time they blend into my surroundings like trees and street lamps and cars. I know, of course, that all these people—like me—are full of stories of love and loss and unfulfilled dreams, but actually trying to conceptualize that would be exhausting. Think of how much work it is to know—to truly know—the few people in our life, our family and friends, and then imagine multiplying that work times seven billion. It’s natural and probably healthy that we don’t spread ourselves thin—that we are very selective in who we notice and who we love.
Your message made me realize that Tumblr—and the internet in general—make this healthy filtering process very difficult. I am bombarded by the images and stories of thousands of interesting people every day on Tumblr. And when I get a snapshot of these people, something in me wants to know them. I don’t filter them out automatically like the people I see on the street; I think it’s the venue, how a blog post is essentially someone carefully choosing what they want to share about themself, that grabs my attention. A guy standing next to me on the sidewalk doesn’t care if I notice him. But if someone posts a story about a horrible breakup, it is specifically because they want someone to notice. And so I try to notice. It would feel wrong to not try. Not that it’s very difficult; I almost can’t help but notice. I think that’s really why I’m writing songs and poems for people with this blog. Because I want to connect with people—new people with beautiful stories and ideas—and they are everywhere on Tumblr, an infinite supply of interesting people. But it’s too much. It’s impossible to know all these people. Maybe the internet is spreading me thin—by connecting with thousands, I’m not really connecting with anyone. Maybe I should look through most of these other bloggers like they are trees and street lamps and cars. Like they are props.
But I don’t want to. It feels right. It feels right that my life is full of more people and fewer props. I don’t think any of us have learned yet how to best manage our emotional energy in this new, hyper-connected world. But should we deny the opportunity to know so many? No. We should appreciate the opportunity and find a way to make it work, to know as many as we can and live lives full of many human connections—lives that would have seemed impossibly full just twenty years ago before the internet was around. The internet makes our opportunities for connecting with people infinite. We just have to learn how to grow our capacity for connection. And that is, in a sense, what my blog is for. Posting the songs and poems I write for others is a way to manage all of my new connections and keep forever all the wonderful stories and emotions I’ve shared with these people. Are there better ways to do it? More emotionally efficient? Maybe. But this is the only way I know how to do it, and I don’t plan to stop any time soon—maybe ever. — KC
Is the internet the new Tower of Babel? Will The Lord strike it down?
Just found out the train I’ll be on for 12 hours does NOT have wifi. Is this what The Dark Ages was like?
Sometimes the internet feels like being at a huge party and suddenly realizing I don’t know anyone or what I’m doing here. Tumblr is like the moment at those parties when I shrug, get a drink, and decide to stay anyway.