Kavalier Calm's Crowdsource Inspiration

I'm KC, The People's Bard. I write songs and poems inspired by the people I meet on the internet. Ask, and I’ll write something for you.
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  • People tend to spend their teenage years (and sadly much of their twenties) doing indecent things to others. People learn the limits of what’s socially acceptable through trial and error, and they hide their mistakes behind the shield of “being young” for many years. Eventually, the consequences of being rude or outright cruel finally weigh enough to make people feel guilty, and then they grow up. This tipping point comes at a different time for everyone (and never for some). I was fortunate to have family and friends who told me early in this stage of my life that I was being a real dick when I was being indecent, which I felt guilty about because I liked these people and did not want to disappoint them, and so I grew up quickly. What most of us need to stop sucking is someone asking us to stop sucking. So if your friends are being shitty, tell them so. If they are decent at their core—beneath their cloud of hormones and confused thoughts—your words could inspire them to grow up, and they’ll be very grateful for your honesty some day. — Kavalier Calm

    The beautiful Carissa submitted the inspiration for tonight’s song. She is dealing with some health problems, and as reminder to herself to never give up, she got a tattoo of the infinity symbol with the word “fight” inside of it. She told me music is the main thing that makes her feel better. So I wrote this. Keep fighting, Carissa. Your future love—like the one in this song—doesn’t want you to give up. — Kavalier Calm


    We sometimes encounter people, even perfect strangers,
    who begin to interest us at first sight,
    somehow suddenly, all at once, before a word has been spoken.

    Yeah, darlin’, I loved you before you knew my name.
    It was your smile, your laugh, your magic way.
    And if I had the chance, I would say:
    Baby, I will love you ‘til infinity;
    I will fight for you ‘til the end of time.

    I used to watch you walking down the street;
    you and your friends always seemed too cool for me.
    But if I had the chance, I would sing:

    The crazy day finally came for me to be brave.
    I bumped into you by your locker and you said, “Hey.”
    Here was my chance to say:

    I was afraid you would laugh in my face.
    But you took my hand, shrugged, and said, “Okay.”

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    Here’s song #2 in response to the requests I received last week in this post. It’s a song about going back to a high school reunion and trying to reconnect with an old flame. Reunions sound dreadful to me, but it made a good song topic. I stretched to fit in these disparate requests, but lyrical stretching in some ways makes for more believable stories. Real life is odd, after all. I devote this song to these bloggers for their great requests (which I likely answered in an unexpected way): im-a-real-hipster answered: “Write about graduating from middle school or high school, and how you’ll keep those people in your heart, but you know you have to move on”; listen91 answered: “A Green Hotel Room” (which made me think of Loudon Wainwright III’s Motel Blues); purplebloodedmajesty answered: “ MOTHMAN”; and smashbrotherhood answered: “Pirates and Lasers”. Some listeners have requested that I put up more videos of my playing, so if you want, you can watch me perform this song on YouTube here. Thanks for listening, friends, and please keep putting in requests. — Kavalier Calm

         Green Hotel Room

    When the invitation came I cringed,
    but I sent the RSVP “Yes”
    in hopes that I’d see you again.
    When they sat us down by last name,
    I knew you’d be right beside me,
    as you’d been from kindergarten to 12th grade.
    You said, “How’ve you been?”
    And I held back a grin;
    I was glad to have you in my sights again.
    We ignored the Class President’s speech,
    held our hands over our mouths
    to hide the laughing. And I knew I’d confess:
    I never fell out of love with you.

    Our old classmates addressed us as a pair;
    they remembered those cartoons we drew
    about The Mothman and Pirates and Lasers.
    They remembered we were class clowns,
    but they didn’t know that
    we got around when no one was looking.
    They didn’t know
    that my favorite thing to draw
    was you without your clothes on.
    You weren’t Best Smile, and I wasn’t Best Eyes;
    you weren’t Most Likely To Succeed,
    and neither was I. But I confess:
    I never fell out of love with you.

    "So listen
    I’ve got this green hotel room,
    and I’d like to remember you.
    Yeah, wait ‘til you see this place.
    I know you’ll think it’s funny.
    The green wall paper is right out of the 70s.
    Oh, you have a date.
    I thought you came alone.
    Oh, you have a husband, and you have two kids.
    Well, I was just kidding.
    Tricked you again just like old times.
    Yeah, the wall paper in my hotel room ain’t even green.”
    And I confess to nothing.