Kavalier Calm's Crowdsource Inspiration

Hi. I'm Kavalier Calm. I write songs and poems inspired by the people I meet on the internet. Ask, and I’ll write something for you. Really.
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  • Which superhero should I write a song about and why?

    Parameter: Sorry, hipsters, but for the purposes of this exercise, it should be a mainstream superhero; one that I will know about instantly. Unless, of course, in your answer you provide a brief bio of the superhero (self-written or Wikipedia only, please).

    Expected response time: I will respond to the best (totally subjective) valid answer I see after work tomorrow.

    Can you describe your first kiss in a single sentence?

    Parameters: One sentence max, though you may semicolon your heart out. And be honest with the details; I can’t be the only person who had a clumsy/awkward first kiss.

    Expected response time: By Monday morning.

    How would you describe a cruel lover?

    The other night I was tapping my finger and started singing:

    Well, I could never love a woman as cruel as you. ( X 2 )
    You’re mean to my mother, and you’re worse with my friends.
    I could never love a woman as cruel as you.

    Well, you say such awful things to wilt my pride.
    You say such awful things to make me feel dead inside.
    I could never love a woman as cruel as you. ( X 2 )

    Parameters: How would you describe a cruel lover? Give me a line or two. The lyric can be simple—in fact, should be. This recording will be very bluesy/jazzy. I may not even have my guitar.

    Expected response time: Sunday night.

    If you had to choose between deafness or blindness, which would you choose and why?

    If you had to choose deafness or blindness, which would you choose and why? Your responses will help me shape my lyrics.

    Expected response time: End of the weekend.

    What does it mean to love a woman like a man?

    What does it mean to love a woman like a man (as opposed to loving like a boy)? There’s inherent confusion in this question. I do NOT mean how does one love a woman by treating her like she’s a man. I mean, how does one love a woman as a man—after one stops behaving like a boy? What bad habits as boyish lovers do we drop as we become men? What does it mean to love a woman with maturity? There are obvious benefits to this emotional aging, but is there also something lost?

    I’ve already started writing the song, but I’d love to hear some strangers’ experiences. Will help with writing some of the verses.

    Thanks to falling-anthem for a couple key words here: biology and manners.       

         Love you like a man

    I ain’t a boy looking for someone to mother me;
    I can stand on my own.
    Ours will not be a romance of needs;
    Trust me, what I want is all biology.

    CHORUS:
    Baby, I will love you like a man
    Baby, I will treat you the best I can
    Darlin’, why don’t you give me your hand?
    And I will love you like a man.

    I can be strong; I’ll build us a home,
    And you’ll be my cornerstone.
    When we’re safe and settled,
    I’ll love you like I’ve got nothing to lose (cause I don’t).

    CHORUS

    We can write the constitution to our love,
    Set up all the ground rules.
    I’ll give you manners and deep respect;
    Just take away my blues!

    BRIDGE:
    Baby, I know you don’t need me,
    But need, it ain’t what I want.
    Just grow old with me and be my best friend;
    I’ll pave us a road you’re proud to walk on.

    CHORUS

    Have you ever been betrayed by a lover?

    Have you ever been betrayed by a lover? How? Your story could be the base for my next song. Thanks in advance for sharing.

    Clementine recorded tonight’s track in one take and sent it my way. I trust that everyone will appreciate the intimacy of the lyrics and their story as much as I did. This post is dedicated to Andrew at booksandstories for his happy, book-centric spirit. I bet he and other book lovers have experienced this moment in a coffee shop. Were any of you brave enough to talk to the stranger? — K.C.

         Give Me a Minute

    When we meet for the first time.
    I’ll say the wrong thing,
    A terrible joke,
    Or nothing at all.

    I might hide my face in my hands,
    or turn around and leave,
    pretend I forgot to turn the oven off,
    or my mom’s birthday,
    or how to breathe.

    But if you give me a minute
    to be brave,
    I’ll come back.
    Give me one more and
    I’ll know what to do with my hands.
    I’ll point to your book and say,
    Any good?

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