Kavalier Calm's Crowdsource Inspiration

I'm KC, The People's Bard. I write songs and poems inspired by the people I meet on the internet. Ask, and I’ll write something for you.
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  • A redditor requested I write a song about his favorite Pokémon, Chikorita. I asked why, and he said now that he’s grown up and working, he’s nostalgic for his days adventuring as a Pokémon trainer; Silver Version was his first love, and Chikorita was his starter Pokémon. I too miss immersing myself into my Gameboy, so I wrote this song for us both. If you like the track, please subscribe to my YouTube channel and feel free to message me song requests of your own. Also, you can download the song for free here. Much love. — Kavalier Calm, The People’s Bard 

    Louis asked me to write a song about an average Joe-type who fights for justice and falls for a woman he didn’t expect. So I created a small-time vigilante named Justice, who meets a cat burglar, Kat, who steals to help support orphans in her care. As an idealist, like Justice, I know the seeds of love are first planted by meeting someone with a good heart and wisdom. I’m thinking this might be the first song of many about these characters and their adventures and budding romance. If any visual artists would like to partner with me to bring these two to life, just let me know. To read the lyrics, click “Read More” below. To download for free, click here. Enjoy, fellow crime-fighters and justice-seekers. — Kavalier Calm

    Read More

    Re-posting one of my favorite songs I’ve written: a song about the zombie apocalypse (a love song, of course): This post is for Megan at megandear. Found her blog by accident and was struck by her humor and unique bio (a girl who likes horror movies and video games!?) And those eyes. I couldn’t figure out if they were green or blue, but I enjoyed studying her pictures trying to figure it out. I know I’m not the only one to imagine surviving a zombie apocalypse; but I might be the first to turn the situation into a love song. Enjoy, Megan, and thanks for the inspiration! Free downloads of this song are here. — K.C.

         My Green Eyed Zombie Killer

    If the Zombie Apocalypse
    comes tomorrow, and I am left for dead,
    I hope I’m left in a musty, dark cellar
    with you.
    We won’t have much besides piles of movies
    (both Romantic and Scary), and a cache of weapons,
    and canned food and Twinkies,
    and an Xbox.

    And every time we push back the brain-eating horde,
    we’ll fall into each other’s arms.
    And I’ll tell you: There’s nowhere I’d rather be
    than here with you, my green eyed zombie killer.

    We’ll spend the hours between Undead surges,
    gaming and laughing and counting ammunition.
    We’ll draw escape plans for all situations,
    though we both never want to leave.

    And every time we push back the brain-eating horde,
    we’ll fall into each other’s arms.
    And I’ll tell you: There’s nowhere I’d rather be
    than here with you, my green eyed zombie killer.

    And if you get infected,
    I’ll deny it with every ounce of my being.
    I’ll tie you down in a chair
    and put on all your favorite movies.

    And every time I push back the brain-eating horde,
    I’ll come as close as I can to your hungry arms.
    And I’ll tell you: There’s nowhere I’d rather be
    than here with you, my green eyed zombie.

    (Source: crowdsourceinspiration, via crowdsourceinspiration)

    I asked my friend Aliya at the awesome blog Pokemon-personalities for ideas for a new Poke-song. She suggested this post might inspire me, and it did. You know when you are mad—and you want to be mad—but your best friend makes you laugh? When you just can’t help but feel better? I think this image captures that magic. Pikachu was such a good friend for Ash; he never let Ash give up hope. So I wrote a song about their friendship. Can you spot all the Poke-references in the lyrics? Free downloads of this song are here (just enter $0 as the price). Much love. — Kavalier Calm

         Best Friends

    To be the very best, like no one ever was,
    we need friends who believe in us
    to tell us dreams are like Butterfrees:
    they’re only caught in a net that swings.

    When our heart is weak, good friends make it beat.
    They bolt and shock us with lightning
    'til we believe.

    To earn every badge of courage you can
    takes a good friend’s helping hand.
    On sad days they say, “You won’t catch them all
    if you give up throwing the ball.”

    'Cause life's an adventure, life's a quest,
    and for it we need friends who are the best.

    Make a song request!

    Gabs at the awesome blog The Awkward Gamer requested a song about the uncertainty of the future and the pain of things not going how we plan them. This photo of her in a Superwoman shirt got me thinking about The Man of Steel. You know, nothing went as planned for Kal-El; he lost his parents—his whole race even—and got rocketed to an alien planet full of people who expected much of him. But despite his tumultuous past and the certainty of trouble in the future, Superman never gave up. I genuinely believe we all have the capacity to be great like Superman—to stand proud and tall in the face of an uncertain future—so I wrote this for all of us. All of us steel people. I dedicate this song to Gabs for the great request and also to these blogs with awesome Superman content: f***yeahsuperman, hellyeahsupermanandwonderwoman, and artofheroes. Free downloads of this song are here (just enter $0 as the price). Enjoy, friends, and feel free to submit a song request of your own. — Kavalier Calm

    Read More

    Cosplayers, I wrote this love song just for you! This song was inspired by great Tumblrs for cosplay, including: thelittlecosplaythings, cosplay-paradise, legitcosplay, awkwardcosplay, and tumblrcosplayers. Free downloads of this song are available here. Enjoy, everyone, and submit a song request of your own! Much love. — Kavalier Calm

         More Than Pretend

    When we met, you were so happy
    to meet someone who could play Vash the Stampede.
    When we met, I was just happy
    that somebody was talking to me.

    When we’re together, we play hero and heroine.
    But just once I want to play boyfriend and girlfriend.
    How do I tell you my love is more than pretend?

    We’ve been Aerith and Cloud, Ash and Misty;
    we’ve gone to Comic-con and costume parties.
    You do my make up, and I dye your hair.
    You laugh as I brush it with my hands.

    And you try on your costumes right in front of me.
    Do you think I’m a robot? That I don’t have feelings?
    Well, I can compute every last inch of you,
    and it fills me with joy, and it fills me with hunger.
    A hunger to be real.

    So I go online and buy a bow and arrow,
    a pair of gold boots, and little wings.
    And I go to your room, and I sit you down,
    and at the top of my Cupid lungs, I sing:
    Do you understand? This isn’t pretend.

    And you grab an arrow out of my quiver,
    tuck it under your arm and say, “Yes.”
    And you give me a hug and a kiss on the neck,
    and then I know that we’re more than pretend.

    Matt at slyfox223 asked me to write a song about the game Minecraft. In this piece I encourage artists to ignore the Creeps in their lives and just keep creating. Don’t let doubters get you down! The lyrics are full of Minecraft words, which I bolded below. Free downloads of this song are available here (just enter $0 as the price), and you can stream it on YouTube here. I hope you enjoy, fellow creators, and if you do, check out my other #gaming songs! — Kavalier Calm


    We all dream of worlds where we can play god:
    create what we will in life’s big sandbox;
    stand at our crafting table with our materials and our mind;
    let our furnaces burn as we work by torchlight.

    But mobs come to blow up our dreams;
    they sneak from behind like bullies.
    Every artist must defeat his creeps.

    We may: build a glass house with a cobblestone path;
    make a bed underground in our favorite mine shaft.
    The world will be our oyster, but we better stay on our toes;
    craft a diamond sword and find a bow and arrows
    because CHORUS

    And I’m here to say those creepers can be beat
    one light at a time.
    Build your pyramids, your Eiffel towers,
    fill the world with your warm smile.
    Push back the jealous and the gunpowder mad
    with your creative fire.
    Creator, create;
    don’t let the creeps be your demise.

    My fifth and final song for The Walking Dead: The Gameis unlike my first four: it’s instrumental only. After I finished “Episode 5: No Time Left”, I was left with an empty feeling—that feeling we all get when we finish a favorite book or film, when the adventures of our favorite characters are over. Words can’t capture such a feeling, and so I didn’t try. As you listen to the slide guitar and distorted solo, imagine Lee’s epic push through the horde of zombies to reach Clementine at the hotel. As you listen to the soft, careful acoustic bit in the middle, imagine the crazed father explaining why he stole Clementine away from Lee. The song resolves with energy, befitting the conclusion of this great game. I dedicate my work to Zoe at zoes-horror-show in thanks for designing awesome album artwork and to the folks at On The Level Gaming for inspiring me to write these songs. Enjoy, friends. If interested, free downloads are here (just enter $0 as the price). — Kavalier Calm

    I’m dedicating tonight’s song to the beautiful Lena and her awesome blog pokemon-zelda-ghibli. She said she favors the original 150 Pokemon, and so do I. I focused on the classic character Pikachu and Poke-language while I wrote the lyrics to this love song. I’ve italicized the lyrics where I reference Poke-lore. Some references are obvious, and others are subtle; do you understand them all, Poke-fans? Free downloads are here (just enter $0 as price). — Kavalier Calm

    Electric Mouse

    Your lightning bolt-looks and swift wit
    have a special power over me.
    When you blush, sparks fly
    from the red on your cheeks.

    Electric mouse, I choose you. Won’t you choose me?
    Electric mouse, I choose you. You’re all I need.

    You refuse to live in a bubble;
    you’re strong and want to stand on your own.
    Well, I ain’t asking you to evolve;
    I just don’t want to stand alone.
    Even the toughest sometimes need a hand
    to fight off Spearow.

    I bet those other cats—them Meowth
    promise to fly you away in a Team Rocketship.
    But I’ll stand right here on the ground
    and work to grant your every wish.
    Let’s train to fight and and train to love;
    I know we’ll be the best there ever was.

    (Source: crowdsourceinspiration / crowdsourceinspiration)

    Song #4 in my songs for The Walking Dead: The Game highlights the gut-wrenching feeling of betrayal I had while playing “Episode 4: Around Every Corner”. This song is sung from the perspective of Lee; he’s warning Clementine that in a post-apocalyptic world, the only person you can really trust is yourself. Sad but true. In the lyrics below, I’ve added links to the characters who surprised me with their strength or, more often, their weakness. Special thanks to zoes-horror-show for designing the awesome album artwork for this song; check out her blog and send her loving messages. Thanks again to On The Level Gaming for the idea behind this songwriting project; it’s been a blast so far, even if I’m terrified to see what happens in Episode 5. You can stream my song on YouTube here, and you can download it for free here (just enter $0 as the price). Enjoy, everyone! — Kavalier Calm

         Around Every Corner

    Around every corner, around every bend,
    is a foe or a friend,
    and it ain’t always clear
    what the difference is.

    Darlin’, trust yourself and no one else.
    The world’s a cruel place; it’s all gone to hell.
    Everyone’s looking out for me and mine;
    the line is blurred between survival and crime.
    And, darlin’, you should know:

    Save a man's son, he repays you with doubt;
    try to lead with kindness, and everyone shouts.
    Keep faith in a coward, he lets you down;
    watch in awe as a stranger holds his ground.

    No one’s safe from this Walker sickness;
    you can’t know how people will act in a pinch.
    Mothers, fathers, children, and man’s best friend:
    you’re the only one you can trust in the end.

    I’m reblogging my song about the SNES classic Earthbound as a part of a shoutout to Caitlin and her very fun #gaming blog at cipater.net. I asked Caitlin if I could write a song for her, and she modestly told me about her love of gin, horror movies, and Earthbound (…sounds like the perfect woman to me). I’m still contemplating how to turn gin and horror movies into a song, but in the interim I want to dedicate my Earthbound tune to Caitlin. I have a feeling she’s ready to go on an adventure just like I am. And it’s good to be prepared; Ness taught all of us that our heroic fate is just one meteor fall away. Do yourself a favor and check out Caitlin’s blog. And enjoy the song, friends. Free downloads of it are here, and you can stream it on YouTube here. — KC


    If you’re an earthbound boy hoping for heroic fate,
    know that it’s just one meteor fall away.
    And when you get your chance to defend those in need,
    you better have your baseball bat at the ready.

    ‘Cause an insectoid alien from the future may appear,
    buzz, buzz, buzzing his worries in your ear;
    he’ll tell you the Apple of Enlightenment
    chose you to save the universe from space giants.
    And you’ll know that prophetic fruit spoke the truth
    when your psychic mind knows just what to do.

    ‘Cause you may have to fight Starmen and Spiteful Crows
    while wielding weapons like frying pans and yo-yos.
    And you may travel through one, two, three, four towns,
    and you may get to see The Runaway Five get down.
    And I bet you’ll meet a bunch of insane cultists
    who think their way of life is the Happiest.

    And you won’t fight alone; you’ll have all the friends you need:
    a Prince, your dog, a nerd, and a lovely lady.
    You can call your dad whenever you need to save,
    and at Mr. Saturn’s hotel you may get a free stay.
    And when you feel the weight of the world on you,
    remember faith in your friends and prayer will see you through.

    We earthbound boys all have big dreams.
    We want to leave our homes and leave our dull destinies.
    The best we can do is be vigilant and stand
    ready for when the universe needs a helping hand.
    Earthbound boys, remember your heroic fate
    is just one meteor fall away.

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