Kavalier Calm's Crowdsource Inspiration

I'm KC, The People's Bard. I write songs and poems inspired by the people I meet on the internet. Ask, and I’ll write something for you.
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  • Can you describe your first kiss in a single sentence?

    Parameters: One sentence max, though you may semicolon your heart out. And be honest with the details; I can’t be the only person who had a clumsy/awkward first kiss.

    Expected response time: By Monday morning.

    Here is a response to the question that went unanswered. I came up with the concept for this song after repeatedly reading the question. I started to wonder why I asked about the first kiss, rather than the last kiss. Then, I realized in some very unfortunate situations, the first and last kiss are one in the same. I penned some of the verses randomly for a few days. I sat down with the guitar at 4 pm yesterday and had this song recorded by 4:45.

         First/last kiss

    The good thing about whisky
    is you only remember the fun.
    The bad thing about whisky
    is you only remember the fun.
    And I don’t remember your name, darlin,
    or where you said you were from.
    And I wish I could get you out of my head
    cause I’ll never see you again.

    But that first kiss
    had everything a man could wish for.
    Your breath was sweet
    and warm in my mouth.
    I only wish I’d known
    that that first kiss would be our last.

    Now my friends say you are a ghost—
    that I left alone.
    But I know my imagination ain’t good enough
    to have made you up.
    And, darlin, I can’t remember your name
    or where you said you were from.
    And I wish I could forget you
    cause I’ll never see you again.

    But that first kiss
    had everything a man could wish for.
    Your breath was sweet
    and warm in my mouth.
    I only wish I’d known
    that that first kiss would be our last.

    How would you describe a cruel lover?

    The other night I was tapping my finger and started singing:

    Well, I could never love a woman as cruel as you. ( X 2 )
    You’re mean to my mother, and you’re worse with my friends.
    I could never love a woman as cruel as you.

    Well, you say such awful things to wilt my pride.
    You say such awful things to make me feel dead inside.
    I could never love a woman as cruel as you. ( X 2 )

    Parameters: How would you describe a cruel lover? Give me a line or two. The lyric can be simple—in fact, should be. This recording will be very bluesy/jazzy. I may not even have my guitar.

    Expected response time: Sunday night.

    First, I made a list of what I would miss most if I became deaf or blind. Then, I remembered the phrase dumb, deaf, and blind. Made the “and” an “or,” imagined I had a choice between the three, and created a song debating the options. Enjoy!

         Dumb, deaf, or blind

    If I was struck with a curse to be
    dumb, deaf, or blind.
    I’d choose to be dumb
    and have a damn good time.

    Cause the blind never see the autumn leaves.
    They can’t see it coming, whatever it is.
    No playing catch with their brothers in the yard.
    They can’t see a woman’s hair bounce in the wind.


    The deaf, they never hear any laughs or cries.
    They don’t have baseball on the radio to help pass the time.
    And I would never trade my lady’s heavy moan—
    the sound she makes when I do something just right.


    The blind never see the flush in people’s cheeks
    or their rolling eyes.
    The deaf don’t get the Star Spangled Banner
    or the cannon fire.
    The dumb drink all they want
    and holler when a girl is fine.
    They ain’t got much upstairs,
    but they still have their ears and eyes.


         Beautiful woman

    I won’t deny that you are the most
    beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
    But unlike all those other boys
    I won’t go wobbly at the knees.

    Just accept that I’m a man
    you can’t defeat.

    If you swallow some of that pride
    and stop looking down at me.
    I can promise you, darling,
    I’ll give you something you need.


    I ain’t a stallion you can break,
    but I can be ridden hard.
    Give me my due respect,
    and I’ll take you far!


    You hang the pelts of strong men
    on your mental walls.
    Well, that ain’t no skin off my back;
    I’ve tricked hunters like you before.


     Answered lovelyquestions's post tonight:

    what is your greatest fear? 

    Thanks for the inspiration lovelyquestions—and for giving me a reason to think about something I usually am too afraid to think about.


    We met so young,
    I don’t remember what it means to feel alone.
    We were both so lost
    when we found each other in this maze.
    Our friends always ask:
    aren’t you afraid you settled too soon?
    My only fear is that I might live
    longer than you.

    'Cause I am strong—
    there’s no doubt.
    But me has been we for so long,
    I don’t know who I’d be on my own.

    We’re still lost in that labyrinth,
    dazed and confused.
    Misery loves Company
    as much as I love you.
    As long as we’re together,
    I can be lost in here forever.
    My only fear is that I might live
    longer than you.

    'Cause I am strong—
    there’s no doubt.
    But me has been we for so long,
    I don’t know who I’d be on my own.

    My only fear is that I might live
    longer than you.

    Today’s tune is for Alejandra and her sketchmyvibe blog. Great inspiring images of youth, living, and dark beauty. My song is in response to an image of graffiti she reblogged that reads: “Every living creature dies alone.” Song’s short and sweet. Enjoy!

         Don’t let go

    If every single living creature
    is cursed to die alone,
    Better find someone,
    grab ahold of them,
    and don’t let go.

    We can’t know what’s next,
    but I’m sure it’s cold and dark.
    You got to make sure your days here
    are bright and warm.

    Darlin’, I know your scared
    of what comes next,
    but that’s no reason
    to not make the best…

    of the time we’ve got here.

    Let’s stand up to fate,
    wear a smile on our face.
    Laugh at what’s cruel,
    and forget all that’s sour.

    If every single living creature
    is cursed to die alone,
    Just grab ahold of me
    and, darlin’, don’t let go.

    Clementine recorded tonight’s track in one take and sent it my way. I trust that everyone will appreciate the intimacy of the lyrics and their story as much as I did. This post is dedicated to Andrew at booksandstories for his happy, book-centric spirit. I bet he and other book lovers have experienced this moment in a coffee shop. Were any of you brave enough to talk to the stranger? — K.C.

         Give Me a Minute

    When we meet for the first time.
    I’ll say the wrong thing,
    A terrible joke,
    Or nothing at all.

    I might hide my face in my hands,
    or turn around and leave,
    pretend I forgot to turn the oven off,
    or my mom’s birthday,
    or how to breathe.

    But if you give me a minute
    to be brave,
    I’ll come back.
    Give me one more and
    I’ll know what to do with my hands.
    I’ll point to your book and say,
    Any good?

    Tonight’s song is about Sleeping Beauty, sang from the perspective of the Prince. I twisted the circumstances of the classic story to make it a bit more…adult; this certainly isn’t the Disney version. Really, when you think about it, the Prince is in a position to make demands like these. This song is devoted to these blogs with quality Sleeping Beauty/Disney content: fairytalemood, thecouplesofdisney, disneyxovers, dandydisney, disneyprincessfanart, butpeterhowdowegettoneverland, and disneyisawesome. Thanks for the inspiration, bloggers.

         Sleeping Beauty

    I have a white horse,
    and I have a chiseled chin.
    I fought a dragon to climb this tower,
    and I beat the old witch.

    But before I wake you from your slumber,
    I want a guarantee
    that when you wake, you’ll climb right back
    into that bed with me.

    A handsome prince like me
    has so many needs.
    Oh, Beauty, I don’t want to sleep;
    I want to lay you down and dream an active dream.

    I’ll bring flowers to all your godmothers,
    and I’ll never ask you to sew.
    And I am in no rush to get married
    or have an heir to the throne.


    This is my third song about a Disney Princess; if you’d like to hear the others, find them via Popular Songs. Would love to get some requests for other, similar songs. Enjoy everyone! — K.C.

    Today’s song is for the beauty Eliza from Manchester over at radikool. An image of her lips was trending this morning. Eli and I noticed because they are quite nice lips. And then we checked out her blog and appreciated her taste in music. Eli knew it was time for a song. We wrote and recorded this in all of an hour. Hope you enjoy, Eliza, and anyone else listening! — K.C.

         Lips Like Yours

    I’ve been with more women
    than I care to admit.
    Good women, bad women,
    and some I forget.
    But I’d settle down,
    and I’d clean up my act

    if I could just get a taste
    of lips like yours.

    Yeah, I’m a drifting man,
    I move round and round.
    But I’d stay right here
    to fix that frown.
    I’d hold a steady job
    just to hold you

    and get a taste
    of lips like yours.

    Lips like yours
    are hard to find.
    Lips like yours
    will keep me satisfied.

    Now, I know what you’ve heard, darlin’,
    and it’s all true.
    But I promise
    I won’t leave you blue.
    Something in a man
    changes and breaks

    when he wants a taste
    of lips like yours.
    And I want a taste
    of lips like yours.

    I wrote this song after Kate Nash binging; it features very barebones guitar work and heavy lyricism. Because of the title, I devote it to two blogs with great images of bruises: bruisesbruise and sweetly-soft-kisses. Because of the meaning, I devote it to xthefuckingdistance (which captures the message of this song in its URL and its content). Thanks for the inspiration, bloggers. And I hope you enjoy, everyone! — K.C.


    When I say the wrong thing at the wrong time,
    and I hurt you even just a little bit,
    a big part of me wants to die,
    as silly as that sounds.

    And I know it ain’t right for me to care that much;
    it ain’t right for me to care like I do.
    My defenses are down, and I’m bound to get bruised.

    But I’ll take the bruises with a smile
    if I get to keep you here a while.

    You won’t always be here because no one ever is.
    All the magic I say you have can’t escape this.
    But I won’t run away because you’re brave and stay
    even though I may be the one to leave one day.
    A day too soon ‘cause any day would be too soon.


    And I get to keep you here a while.
    Yeah, love, we’re a timebomb, and we just can’t read the clock.
    and I dread the bang, and I dread knowing it could be any day…

    It probably ain’t right…

    I wrote this song years ago, before the CI project began—before I was smart enough to realize I wanted to write songs every day. It was written for an old roommate, George, after the real scene detailed in the intro took place. Because this song is about finding love—filling your life with light—I devote it to these blogs: bby-leen and itswhatourheartsareallmadeof (for good thoughts on love in general), temporarynostalgia (because your blog is beautiful and because I want to tell you that you don’t have to wait to find him), onbeingcheesyandpathetic (because that’s what this song is being, really), and lastly to commutermusic (because of your blog’s originality!).  Enjoy everyone! — K.C.

         Do I Need A Lamp?

    George, you need a light
    but not the bulbed kind.
    Don’t just get a lamp at Wal-mart
    because it’s discount priced.
    You need a lantern lady
    to brighten up your days.

    You’ll see soon enough,
    you’ll see in the dark.
    If you find a girl of
    one million watts.
    You need a lantern lady
    to brighten up your days.

    Don’t hesitate, don’t wait,
    everyone is looking.
    And it won’t be long
    until all the good lights are taken.
    Find a lantern lady
    to brighten up your days.

    Come on everyone,
    let’s shed our light on each other.
    We don’t need lamps
    made in factories in China.

    Come on everyone,
    shed your light.

    When Eli told me he wanted to cover Adele’s “Rolling in the Deep,” I was taken aback. Firstly, we are cover-wary because they are over-done and, well, often boring. Secondly, Eli is many things, but a diva is not one of them. I never deny an impulse, though, especially an odd one, so I told him to give it a shot. A couple hours later he came to me with this. I should have known that Mr. Cash would make it his own; his natural bluesy tendencies give the song a new character, and his gravelly voice adds something a diva cannot. I toyed with calling this “The Rolling in the Deep Blues.” I was so enthralled by his performance, I decided to make the first video recording of one of the CI artists performing; if you care to watch it, view it on our YouTube channel here. As always, our posts have devotees. These are the blogs we’ve found with the best Adele content: myqueeniscalledadele, ourqueenadele, rollinginadele, efyeahadele, itsanadelebration, adeleable, and adelenyc. Enjoy everyone!

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