Kavalier Calm's Crowdsource Inspiration

I'm KC, The People's Bard. I write songs and poems inspired by the people I meet on the internet. Ask, and I’ll write something for you.
  • Message
  • Submit
  • Archive
  • About and FAQS
  • Songs and Poems
  • Downloads
  • Social Media
  • Theme
  • EDIT: I decided to make a Lara-only version of this song, too. Check it out here.

    Tonight’s song is about a race between Lara Croft and Indiana Jones to see who is the Best Archaeologist Ever Known. When Meagan Marie—who manages Official Tomb Raider Blog—suggested I write songs for the important women in gaming, I happily accepted the challenge of highlighting the strengths of women in games. Lara is probably my favorite female character ever, so I wrote her an epic. Really, at seven minutes plus, this is Homeric in scope. Fandom like a boss. In my story, Lara and Indy have the strength and intelligence we expect; but it is Croft’s womanly wisdom that matters most in the end. The art of this is in the storytelling—the music merely provides a chugging rhythm. I painstakingly enunciated so you could understand the words, but they are a fun read. I put the lyrics and a full explanation of the songwriting process in a separate post; the lyrics are also in the video details on YouTube. Free downloads of this epic are available here.

    This song is dedicated to many blogs that I read during my extensive research on Lara Croft: Of course, Meagan Marie and the Official Tomb Raider Blog, and also larahcroft.blog.cz, Eidos’ Tomb Raider Forums, tombraideraddiction, captivatingcroft, raidercroft, twinpistolsf***yeahlaracrofttombraider, effyeahtombraidergirls, fyeahtombraider, lara-croft, tombraidingb*tch, and laracroft. Thanks for the inspiration, bloggers! I hope you all enjoy because I am certainly enjoying being the #Gaming Bard. – Kavalier Calm

    Listeners: Who do you think is the better archaeologist? Lara or Indy?

    When Mandy suggested my next #gaming song should be about Axel of Kingdom Hearts, I was instantly inspired. Axel is such a dynamic character, and the language of the KH series lends itself well to lyrics (can you spot all the references to the series in my lyrics?). When writing this, I imagined what it would be like to be a Nobody; perhaps unsurprisingly, it wasn’t difficult. I think some days we all feel like our heart is gone—because no one has awakened it yet, or because it is hiding from some pain. Some days it is hard to feel any emotion at all. I wrote about that feeling of being a body without a heart, that feeling of waiting for someone to turn you into a somebody—a somebody special. I devote this song to make-my-heart-doki-doki and abreathingworkofart for their suggestions that I write a Kingdom Hearts-themed song. I also devote this song to these blogs with awesome KH content: kindomheartskey, kingdomheartssaga, kingdomheartslove, khcomplete, f***yeahkingdomheartsserieskingdomheartsobsessed, and kiboom. Thanks for listening, everyone. I hope you enjoy! Free downloads of this track are here, and you can stream in on YouTube here. — Kavalier Calm


    Well, this life is a gamble,
    and I’m not winning the bet.
    It seems I was dealt all spades in a kingdom of hearts.
    Can I call redeal?

    I tire of being a nobody who’s lost to the dark:
    an axle without a wheel, a flame without a spark.
    Help me find my heart so I am complete;
    help me become a somebody.

    Well, I have a long shadow that hides the light;
    and my assassins live by my lies.
    And there are at least thirteen ghosts like me
    who dream of feeling.