Kavalier Calm's Crowdsource Inspiration

I'm KC, The People's Bard. I write songs and poems inspired by the people I meet on the internet. Ask, and I’ll write something for you.
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  • Here’s song #2 in response to the requests I received last week in this post. It’s a song about going back to a high school reunion and trying to reconnect with an old flame. Reunions sound dreadful to me, but it made a good song topic. I stretched to fit in these disparate requests, but lyrical stretching in some ways makes for more believable stories. Real life is odd, after all. I devote this song to these bloggers for their great requests (which I likely answered in an unexpected way): im-a-real-hipster answered: “Write about graduating from middle school or high school, and how you’ll keep those people in your heart, but you know you have to move on”; listen91 answered: “A Green Hotel Room” (which made me think of Loudon Wainwright III’s Motel Blues); purplebloodedmajesty answered: “ MOTHMAN”; and smashbrotherhood answered: “Pirates and Lasers”. Some listeners have requested that I put up more videos of my playing, so if you want, you can watch me perform this song on YouTube here. Thanks for listening, friends, and please keep putting in requests. — Kavalier Calm

         Green Hotel Room

    When the invitation came I cringed,
    but I sent the RSVP “Yes”
    in hopes that I’d see you again.
    When they sat us down by last name,
    I knew you’d be right beside me,
    as you’d been from kindergarten to 12th grade.
    You said, “How’ve you been?”
    And I held back a grin;
    I was glad to have you in my sights again.
    We ignored the Class President’s speech,
    held our hands over our mouths
    to hide the laughing. And I knew I’d confess:
    I never fell out of love with you.

    Our old classmates addressed us as a pair;
    they remembered those cartoons we drew
    about The Mothman and Pirates and Lasers.
    They remembered we were class clowns,
    but they didn’t know that
    we got around when no one was looking.
    They didn’t know
    that my favorite thing to draw
    was you without your clothes on.
    You weren’t Best Smile, and I wasn’t Best Eyes;
    you weren’t Most Likely To Succeed,
    and neither was I. But I confess:
    I never fell out of love with you.

    "So listen
    I’ve got this green hotel room,
    and I’d like to remember you.
    Yeah, wait ‘til you see this place.
    I know you’ll think it’s funny.
    The green wall paper is right out of the 70s.
    Oh, you have a date.
    I thought you came alone.
    Oh, you have a husband, and you have two kids.
    Well, I was just kidding.
    Tricked you again just like old times.
    Yeah, the wall paper in my hotel room ain’t even green.”
    And I confess to nothing.

    Tonight’s tune is for Paige (Zamii) and her wonderful art, which you can find on her blog: zamii070. I was inspired to write this piece when I saw her amazing “A Drawing About Being Too Lazy To Draw”. A lot of times I am too lazy to overcome my writer’s block, too. But thankfully, wonderful artists or beautiful girls (by the way, Paige is both) inspire me to get back at it. Thank you dearly for being my muse, Paige. Free downloads of this song are here (just enter $0 as the price). Much love. — Kavalier Calm

         Chop My Writer’s Block

    Paige, I’d like to take a page out of your book,
    and Paige, I’d like to learn how you chop wood.
    I’ve got a bad case of writer’s block,
    and I’m gonna use you to chop, chop, chop.
    The way you draw has opened up a new world for me;
    your lines whisper in a language I want to speak.
    My brain’s been holed up in a room of gray,
    and your art begs it to come outside and play.

    You are attacking the walls of my Castle Lazy
    with the trebuchet of your beauty.
    If I want a muse to put rhythm in my heart,
    I’ll stare at your photo ‘til the beat starts.

    Oh, vixen, I can build you an oven for pizza pies.
    We’ll fuel it with the wood from the walls on my mind.
    Now, darlin’, I swear I’m not asking for much.
    I just want you to chop, chop, chop.

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