Kavalier Calm's Crowdsource Inspiration

I'm KC, The People's Bard. I write songs and poems inspired by the people I meet on the internet. Ask, and I’ll write something for you.
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  • Today’s inspiration comes from a very simple question asked by sally-okay:

    Knowledge or wealth?

    I’m not sure that I’ve answered “knowledge”, but I definitely said no to wealth…at least for the situation I imagined. I know that most girls in my life wish they were a Disney Princess. I’ve always thought that life didn’t seem as great as the movie’s make it out to be. My song shares my reasoning. Enjoy!

         A Princess problem

    Well, you were born
    with your nose in the air.
    Gifted pretty dresses
    and golden hair.
    But I know your secret,
    the one you’ve never told:
    You’d trade in all those dollars
    just to know:

    That you’re loved for being you,
    and not for your dowry;
    that you’re loved for being you,
    and not for your wealth.

    Suitors come to you,
    like moths to a flame.
    No, they come to you,
    like gamblers to a game.
    They want a taste
    from that silver spoon.
    The one that’s choked you
    and left you so blue.


    Well, yours is a Princess problem,
    one of the First World.
    But privilege can’t dull the pains
    of a sad girl.
    You’ve had everything
    except for the one thing you want:
    a good man
    that you can trust…


    Mirror, mirror on the wall, what inspired this song? Well, the whole concept of Snow White. These are gut wrenching, pun laden lyrics; two minutes of fury about finding my own Disney Princess. I’m devoting this post to mydearsn0wwhite ‘cause she posts about Snow White and posts quality poetry. Keep it up, and enjoy!

         Mirror, mirror

    Mirror, mirror
    on the wall:
    Can you tell me
    who’s the fairest of them all?
    Can you give me her number,
    so I can give her a call?
    Can you give me her address,
    so I can bring flowers to her step.

    I’ve been searching the whole world
    for a girl as white as snow.
    A girl who’s sick of little men
    running her show.
    I want a girl who’ll boss me around;
    I want a girl I can call queen—
    A girl too smart for poisoned apples,
    a girl too smart for me.

    Mirror, mirror
    on the wall:
    Find me what I need;
    I’ve been looking like all the other boys
    for gems in the mine.
    But now I see it takes
    magic like yours
    to fulfill my needs.


    Tonight’s post is for all the Cinderellas in the world! Boys don’t often admit it, but just like girls would enjoy being swept off their feet by a prince, most boys would like to find a princess to do this for. This song realizes that impulse with a modern re-telling of the Cinderella story. It follows the classic story arch of unjust oppression/triumphant reward. I dedicate this song to these blogs with great Disney and princess content: deepdisneyconfessions, walter-disney, the-disney-difference, fuckyeahdisneyfanart, letterstodisney, disneyslove, and beliveindisneyforever.

         Cinderella, I Can Be Your Fella

    When the clock struck midnight,
    you ran out the door.
    You were in such a hurry,
    you left your coat at the bar.
    It wasn’t ‘til then
    I realized you came alone,
    and the key to finding you
    might be that coat.

    Oh, Cinderella,
    I can be your  fella,
    I can be your man.
    We can run away
    together, my queen,
    just take my hand.

    Well, we danced for hours,
    and I bought you a drink,
    and you told me
    you were paying your way,
    living as a maid
    with the ungrateful and rich,
    and you have an itch
    to just run away.


    I remember your laugh,
    and I remember your walk,
    but I don’t remember
    where you said you’re from.
    So I’m gonna take your coat
    to every big house in town,
    and ask for the girl
    that cleans the rooms.

    Fans of this tune might like to know that this song will be a part of a larger album concept, which includes songs for Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, and this one for Cinderella. Just send me a message if you’d like a heads up when the digital album is released. Oh, and this is the first project on CI to feature the banjo, played by Elijah Cash. Eli crashed at my place last week after a night of heavy drinking and gambling. He was missing his shirt—which he lost on a dice roll—but had this banjo—which he won on a dice roll. Now we all profit from his winnings. Enjoy! — K.C.

    Tonight’s song is about Sleeping Beauty, sang from the perspective of the Prince. I twisted the circumstances of the classic story to make it a bit more…adult; this certainly isn’t the Disney version. Really, when you think about it, the Prince is in a position to make demands like these. This song is devoted to these blogs with quality Sleeping Beauty/Disney content: fairytalemood, thecouplesofdisney, disneyxovers, dandydisney, disneyprincessfanart, butpeterhowdowegettoneverland, and disneyisawesome. Thanks for the inspiration, bloggers.

         Sleeping Beauty

    I have a white horse,
    and I have a chiseled chin.
    I fought a dragon to climb this tower,
    and I beat the old witch.

    But before I wake you from your slumber,
    I want a guarantee
    that when you wake, you’ll climb right back
    into that bed with me.

    A handsome prince like me
    has so many needs.
    Oh, Beauty, I don’t want to sleep;
    I want to lay you down and dream an active dream.

    I’ll bring flowers to all your godmothers,
    and I’ll never ask you to sew.
    And I am in no rush to get married
    or have an heir to the throne.


    This is my third song about a Disney Princess; if you’d like to hear the others, find them via Popular Songs. Would love to get some requests for other, similar songs. Enjoy everyone! — K.C.