Kavalier Calm's Crowdsource Inspiration

I'm KC, The People's Bard. I write songs and poems inspired by the people I meet on the internet. Ask, and I’ll write something for you.
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  • Need an image of Princess Bubblegum blowing a bubble

    I need images of Princess Bubblegum being particularly gum-like for the song I’m writing for her. Any fanartists or fans out there know of an image of her blowing a bubble or something similar? Maybe another character chewing her hair? Photo reply or message me. Creative interpretations of what I’m seeking are encouraged! I will give a shout out to contributors/artists in the audio post when it goes up. Thanks in advance!

    So what you got?


    Hi, everyone! Danna responded to my request for an image of PB with this awesome illustration. Now I’m posting the pairing audio—a love song that really extends the bubblegum metaphor. I assume everyone has had Big Chew before? And listen for a familiar sound at song’s end! I devote this song to Danna—whose other work you should all check out—and to these blogs with awesome PB content: bubblegum-princess, ask-peebs, thebubblegumprincess, asksugarlessgum, and princess-bonnibel-bubblegum. Free downloads of this track are here, and you can stream in on YouTube here. Thanks for listening! — Kavalier Calm

         My Big Chew

    Bubblegum, I’ll take you any way I can get you:
    stuck in my hair or on the bottom of my shoe.
    I’m not like all your other royal subjects.
    I ain’t your average piece of hard candy.
    I can be sweet, or I can be sour.
    Whatever you need, I’ll change by the hour.

    Bubblegum, I want you to be my big chew.

    I don’t care if you’re ABC;
    I’ve loved and lost a few of my own.
    And now all I know is I’d like the taste
    of you in my mouth each and every day.
    Bubblegum, I’ll take you any way I can get you:
    stuck in my hair or on the bottom of my shoe.

    Bubblegum, I want you to be my big chew.

    What would you want to do in Ooo?

    Hey, friends and Adventure Time fans. I’m working on a song called “Strangling Pixies” to wrap up my album of original Adventure Time songs. Someone requested that I write a song about the bromance between Marcy and Finn. The song is all about hanging out as bros in Ooo; like what bros’d do for fun. You know, like go through a maze in a quest to acquire an Ancient Psychic Tandem War Elephant. So, what would you want to do if you were in Ooo?

    What would you do in Ooo?

    I’m writing a song about hanging out as bros in Ooo. It’s all about the kind of trouble/fun you can get into in the Adventure Time universe. What would you do if you were bored in Ooo? Who would you hang out with? Who would you prank? Fight? Kiss? I got some good answers yesterday. Give me some more. I’m going to devote this song to you if I use your answer! — K.C.

    With tonight’s track I’m releasing my Adventure Time-themed album What Time Is It?!!! It’s entirely composed of songs written for this blog. If there’s a good response, I may write more AT songs in the future; otherwise, I’m ready to write about new, strange worlds. This song—the first track on the album—is written is response to a request from smobear, who asked me to write about the bromance between Finn and Marcy. She suggested the name “strangling pixies”, in reference to Marcy’s infamous, evil-esque request of Finn. The lyrics focus on all the cool things many of you said you’d like to do with your bros in Ooo (here and here). Check out the links I put in the lyrics to brief clips of AT on YouTube. I dedicate this song to smobear and these bloggers whose ideas made the final lyric cut: shadowofmefisto, zombieeggrollz, purplebloodedmajesty, abhorredlotus, psyclopses, imperfectblueeyes, and lilgarre.  Download this song or the entire album for free here and stream it it on YouTube here. Thanks for listening everyone, and I hope you dig my rhymes. — K.C.

         Strangling Pixies

    Yeah, Marceline, I’ll strangle pixies with you.
    But then what are we gonna do?

    Let’s steal the Ice King’s crown and put him in a block of ice,
    take pictures with Beemo, and show every would-be wife.
    Let’s cuddle with Cuties while they curse and be flies on Tree Trunks’ pie.
    Let’s party with Pat in a giant’s stomach like it’s 1999.

    In Ooo, there’s so much trouble to get into.
    Bros gotta do what bros gotta do.

    Let’s prank every princess, put peanut butter in PB’s hair,
    put ketchup on Hot Dog’s buns ‘cause we just don’t care.
    Let’s send a fake love letter from Brad to Lumpy Space,
    and when she gets mad, we’ll vanish without a trace.

    Let’s make music, Marceline, and you can be my muse;
    Trust me I got more rhymes than the Choose Goose.
    Let’s hang out with Jake, watch a cheesy romance movie,
    eat an everything burrito, and feel real groovy.

    Let’s quest after something special two bros can share:
    I want to ride an ancient psychic war elephant as a  pair.
    We can go to battle, defend the weak and the poor;
    we’ll be stronger than the weapon that ended The Mushroom War.
    CHORUS x3