Kavalier Calm's Crowdsource Inspiration

I'm KC, The People's Bard. I write songs and poems inspired by the people I meet on the internet. Ask, and I’ll write something for you.
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  • "Jake Suit" by davidthejoyner

    When I saw this animation from davidthejoyner today, I instantly thought of the words to this song. This battle cry should be sung every time Finn wears his Jake Suit! Absurd? Yes. But it has a trumpet part! I dedicate this to davidthejoyner for first inspiring me and to Finn at finn-theheroguy for his encouraging words and Finn at askadventurerfinn. If there are any other artists/AT fans out there who have ideas for songs, share them with me. I’m actually learning a lot working on these small tunes (I wrote one for LSP today, too), so I’d like to do more. — Kavalier

         Finn the Barrel-Chested

    He’s Finn the Barrel-Chested!
    He wields a sword; yes, he does!
    He’s Finn the Barrel-Chested!
    He fights for good; yes, he does!

    Tonight’s Adventure Time tune is for the beautiful Flame Princess, and it’s so sweet that non-AT fans (is there such a thing?) will enjoy it, too. I’m going to steal FP away from her father, the grumpy Flame King; we’ll run away together and live happily ever after. I was encouraged by the muse herself to just use my voice, so it’s just two simple tracks. I was smiling the whole time I recorded this. I’m getting better at this beatboxing. Who needs a drum machine when you have a mouth? (Ok, yes, if I had the coin, I’d still get one.) This audio post is devoted to FP, of course, at—asktheprincessoftheflames—and to these two rad blogs with AT content: askadventuretime and bunbubs. Free downloads of this song are available here and you can watch it on YouTube here. My other AT songs are here and here and more are coming. I already have one about LSP in the works and the lyrics for “Marceline, Be My Queen: Part 2”. Enjoy everybody! — K.C.

         FP, Run Away With Me

    Flame Princess, I’m going to steal you from right under your daddy’s nose.
    Run away with me, FP, and I’ll make sure your flame grows.

    We’ll burn every bridge that we pass;
    forget those sad days, forget your past.
    Oh, FP, run away with me across Ooo!

    Our love will burn too hot to be called cool.
    And I’ll make every other princess so jealous of you.



    Tonight’s song is for Lumpy Space Princess from Adventure Time. My favorite episode with LSP is “The Monster,” and I always imagine LSP carrying that basket full of sandwiches. The premise I invented for this song is: LSP’s parents want her to meet a LS dude—a LS Prince—and because they want her to fall for him, they put love sauce (an AT-exclusive condiment) on her favorite sandwiches. This will make her fall in love with the next boy she sees; unfortunately, Finn shows up at the wrong moment. This song is for the climax of the story. LSP’s been flirting with Finn for the whole episode, and he’s finally had enough. Some kind of resolution comes after this. Maybe the sauce wears off? Or Jake gives LSP a sandwich with a neutralizing condiment (like ketchup, or the blood of our enemies). What do you think AT fans? I devote this audio post, firstly, to the fantastic artist at thestinkyfoot who drew this spectacular image to pair with my audio on request (go “like” the original post here and check out more work on deviantart!); and, secondly, I devote it to these great LSP/AT blogs: lsp4life, what-the-stuff, ask-lsp, adventuresnail, and isaidlumpoffmom. I had a blast recording this. My LSP is pretty good, but Finn’s voice is tough (cursed puberty!); I just aimed for “boyish” with his part. Enjoy everyone! If you do, free downloads are here, and you can stream it on YouTube here. And remember, I’m always taking requests. — Kavalier


    I wrote this song because in one AT episode, I want Beemo to save the day. He deserves an epic Bee-moment (ha!). Maybe he’d have to rescue Finn and Jake from a dungeon? And I don’t want him killing Cuties; I want him hamstringing frost giants and gouging out their eyes. Before the battle begins he would load a warrior skills cartridge. Or this song on a cassette. As you listen, imagine Beemo leaping around beheading monsters—because that’s what I do. Special thanks to superskeetospro for providing a ferocious image of Beemo to pair with the audio. This song is dedicated to these Beemo/AT-content blogs: fortheloveofbeemo, b-m-o, fuckyeah-adventuretimee, adventuretimefiction, and shadowofmefisto. — Kavalier Calm


    When I saw this wonderful image of Marcy the other night, I was inspired to finish Part 2 of my love ballad for her. The artist ShinySoul said he was trying to draw Marcy in a “semi-realistic style.” I think he did a masterful job; plus, I love Marcy in her sun hat. If you like his work as much as I do, please go like his original post here. Like him, for this song I did my best to imagine Marceline was real. So, unlike my other #Adventure Time songs, where I wrote in the quirky style of the show, I wrote like I would to capture a woman’s heart in RL. Of course, the lyrics are still all about Marcy. In fact, you’ll notice that I got her to play bass ;) This song is devoted to ShinySoul for inspiring me, to Marceline at—marceline-the-queen and marceline-your-vampire-queen—and to these awesome AT blogs I’ve found recently: fuckyeahmarcelinebubblegum, yoitsadventuretime, yesadventuretime, finn13, foreveradventuretime, and princess-partay. You can listen to Part 1 of my attempt to woo Marceline here. If you like, you can stream this and subscribe to CI on YouTube here. The built in link on the audio player will take you to free downloads. Also, I know that I want to write a song for Bubblegum next; so, if you are an artist and would like to suggest an inspiring image, please message me. Thanks for listening everyone!

         Marceline, Be My Vampire Queen (Part 2)

    It’s time for a song, Marceline.
    Let me be the guitar to your bass.
    Let’s create cosmic sound waves.
    Let’s make music Ooo’s never heard before;
    music to survive millenia, just like you.
    Marceline, be my queen.

    The sun is shining, Marceline.
    Let me be your hat and elbow high gloves.
    Let me be your place in the shade.
    I’ll be there to protect you from pain;
    let me be your knight in shining armor, Marceline.
    Marceline, be my queen.

    It’s time to eat, Marceline.
    I’ll buy you more fries than you’ve ever seen.
    Let’s cover them in deep red ketchup.
    Let me be your red in a world of black and white.
    Let me be the fuel that keeps your fire burning bright.
    Marceline, be my queen.

    I’ll be your mirror, the reflection you can’t see.
    I’ll tell you you’re beautiful every day.
    Marceline, be my queen.

    So, if you were Marcy, would you be my queen?

    Need an image of Princess Bubblegum blowing a bubble

    I need images of Princess Bubblegum being particularly gum-like for the song I’m writing for her. Any fanartists or fans out there know of an image of her blowing a bubble or something similar? Maybe another character chewing her hair? Photo reply or message me. Creative interpretations of what I’m seeking are encouraged! I will give a shout out to contributors/artists in the audio post when it goes up. Thanks in advance!

    So what you got?


    Hi, everyone! Danna responded to my request for an image of PB with this awesome illustration. Now I’m posting the pairing audio—a love song that really extends the bubblegum metaphor. I assume everyone has had Big Chew before? And listen for a familiar sound at song’s end! I devote this song to Danna—whose other work you should all check out—and to these blogs with awesome PB content: bubblegum-princess, ask-peebs, thebubblegumprincess, asksugarlessgum, and princess-bonnibel-bubblegum. Free downloads of this track are here, and you can stream in on YouTube here. Thanks for listening! — Kavalier Calm

         My Big Chew

    Bubblegum, I’ll take you any way I can get you:
    stuck in my hair or on the bottom of my shoe.
    I’m not like all your other royal subjects.
    I ain’t your average piece of hard candy.
    I can be sweet, or I can be sour.
    Whatever you need, I’ll change by the hour.

    Bubblegum, I want you to be my big chew.

    I don’t care if you’re ABC;
    I’ve loved and lost a few of my own.
    And now all I know is I’d like the taste
    of you in my mouth each and every day.
    Bubblegum, I’ll take you any way I can get you:
    stuck in my hair or on the bottom of my shoe.

    Bubblegum, I want you to be my big chew.

    Help me write an Adventure Time song?

    Hi, everybody! I want to write another AT-themed song, but I don’t know what it should be about. You can hear the Adventure Time songs I’ve already written here. Which character should I write about next? Or maybe you all could help me write an original story/moment for the show? I also have experience musically responding to images, so share links to your best AT fanart, too.

    Hunson Abadeer is the vocalist in tonight’s AT-themed song. Every episode with Marceline’s dad suggests that he’s not as bad a guy as he seems at first. The Lord of Evil might really be The Lord of Not-So-Evil. I wondered how a full apology to Marceline might sound, and I imagined a whole scene for an episode; the audio post includes dialogue, a rap, and an apologetic ballad. There are loads of direct quotes and references to Ooo in the lyrics that true AT fans will enjoy. I dedicate this audio to my friend and fellow artist over at davidthejoyner. He suggested I write a song about Abadeer to pair with an epic GIF he’s working on. Keep your eyes peeled for his work, due to come out very soon. I also dedicate this song to these rad blogs with solid AT content: finn-theheroguy, advtimefanart, its-adventuretime, f***yeah-adventure-time, ohyeahadventuretime, lumping-righteousness, f***yeahkasumisty, and epik-adventure-time. Free downloads of this song are here, and you can stream it/like it YouTube here. Thanks for listening everyone and enjoy! — Kavalier Calm

         Lord of Not-So-Evil

    You know, Marceline, your friends are alright.
    Their political rap was pretty great.
    I bet I could write one! (Marceline looks shocked)

    I’m Hunson Abadeer, Lord of Evil;
    I rule over all of my sheeple.
    I am Fear like Beemo is Camera.
    I will make you pass a banana.
    Visit me in The Nightosphere;
    and you will never leave here. (HAHA)

    But, really, Marceline, there’s something I need to tell you.

    I’ve had enough of my tough guy, demon persona.
    I may be deathless, but I’m not heartless.
    I just want to be the dad I never had.
    I want to suck out souls with you.
    Trust me, Hot Dog Princess is so delicious;
    she would have gone perfectly with your fries,
    even though they were cold.

    But that’s old news.
    What I’m trying to say is:
    I’m proud of you, and I want another chance.

    If you don’t want to wear my amulet of chaotic evil,
    I understand. Not everyone likes to wield sentient blood mist
    in a cloud. And I like what you’ve done with the family axe.
    I learned lute, too, to show you that I approve
    of you and your friends, even though they knocked that sandwich
    out of my hands.

    Marceline, will you give me another chance?

    What would you want to do in Ooo?

    Hey, friends and Adventure Time fans. I’m working on a song called “Strangling Pixies” to wrap up my album of original Adventure Time songs. Someone requested that I write a song about the bromance between Marcy and Finn. The song is all about hanging out as bros in Ooo; like what bros’d do for fun. You know, like go through a maze in a quest to acquire an Ancient Psychic Tandem War Elephant. So, what would you want to do if you were in Ooo?

    What would you do in Ooo?

    I’m writing a song about hanging out as bros in Ooo. It’s all about the kind of trouble/fun you can get into in the Adventure Time universe. What would you do if you were bored in Ooo? Who would you hang out with? Who would you prank? Fight? Kiss? I got some good answers yesterday. Give me some more. I’m going to devote this song to you if I use your answer! — K.C.

    With tonight’s track I’m releasing my Adventure Time-themed album What Time Is It?!!! It’s entirely composed of songs written for this blog. If there’s a good response, I may write more AT songs in the future; otherwise, I’m ready to write about new, strange worlds. This song—the first track on the album—is written is response to a request from smobear, who asked me to write about the bromance between Finn and Marcy. She suggested the name “strangling pixies”, in reference to Marcy’s infamous, evil-esque request of Finn. The lyrics focus on all the cool things many of you said you’d like to do with your bros in Ooo (here and here). Check out the links I put in the lyrics to brief clips of AT on YouTube. I dedicate this song to smobear and these bloggers whose ideas made the final lyric cut: shadowofmefisto, zombieeggrollz, purplebloodedmajesty, abhorredlotus, psyclopses, imperfectblueeyes, and lilgarre.  Download this song or the entire album for free here and stream it it on YouTube here. Thanks for listening everyone, and I hope you dig my rhymes. — K.C.

         Strangling Pixies

    Yeah, Marceline, I’ll strangle pixies with you.
    But then what are we gonna do?

    Let’s steal the Ice King’s crown and put him in a block of ice,
    take pictures with Beemo, and show every would-be wife.
    Let’s cuddle with Cuties while they curse and be flies on Tree Trunks’ pie.
    Let’s party with Pat in a giant’s stomach like it’s 1999.

    In Ooo, there’s so much trouble to get into.
    Bros gotta do what bros gotta do.

    Let’s prank every princess, put peanut butter in PB’s hair,
    put ketchup on Hot Dog’s buns ‘cause we just don’t care.
    Let’s send a fake love letter from Brad to Lumpy Space,
    and when she gets mad, we’ll vanish without a trace.

    Let’s make music, Marceline, and you can be my muse;
    Trust me I got more rhymes than the Choose Goose.
    Let’s hang out with Jake, watch a cheesy romance movie,
    eat an everything burrito, and feel real groovy.

    Let’s quest after something special two bros can share:
    I want to ride an ancient psychic war elephant as a  pair.
    We can go to battle, defend the weak and the poor;
    we’ll be stronger than the weapon that ended The Mushroom War.
    CHORUS x3

    This was the first Adventure Time song I wrote, and in some ways it’s the best. I think I successfully pulled off the AT-style; Marceline could have a lover in an episode sing a song for her just like this. If you want to read about the writing process, I originally posted the song here. If you dig this, be sure to check out my whole album of AT songs. Enjoy! — K.C.

         Marceline, Be My Vampire Queen (Part 1)

    Oh, Marceline, be my Vampire Queen;
    it will be emotionally exhausting
    but worth it.

    You may be the only shot I have at love;
    you may be the only one who values the red of my blood.
    And Finn can have Bubblegum—I hate pink, and I hate sweet.
    I want a dark woman who plays electric bass.
    And you may be 1,000 years old, but you’re emotionally unstable like a teen (like me):
    your fry song made me cry for weeks.
    I know about Hambo, I know you feel love.
    And my love only comes in shades of red;
    I’ve got so much, you’ll never be hungry again.