Kavalier Calm's Crowdsource Inspiration

I'm KC, The People's Bard. I write songs and poems inspired by the people I meet on the internet. Ask, and I’ll write something for you.
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  • This rock and roll song is about cats. Damn right. Cats. It all started when I mentally twisted the phrase curiosity killed the cat into contentment killed the cat. How can you be content? Don’t you want more, girl? Okay, so this song is really a metaphor about a woman. (No, not Cat Woman, though that’d be cool.) I can’t very well devote this to her, but I can devote it to cats. These are the best cat content blogs I’ve found: fuckyeahcats, postitkitties, meowwwzzzaaa, welovefatcats, cats-ondev, catswearingleashes,  I hope you all enjoy the song. And I hope your cats enjoy it, too! — K.C.  

         Content Kitty

    Contentment killed the cat;
    it wasn’t curiosity.
    And your happiness
    is killing me.

    Come here, kitty, kitty.

    Wipe that smile off your face;
    you don’t have everything you need
    if you don’t have me.

    Valentine’s Day can be very divisive. It seems there are two camps—the in-love and the not-in-love—and they do not get along on this day. I wanted to draft a treaty between the two camps—a cease fire of sorts—so I wrote a song that would speak to both. In the chorus, I tried to capture the feeling of being in love and empathize with those who haven’t found love yet by acknowledging that it’s rare. I promise there is hope for the not-in camp; you will find love, assuming you truly want to. This song is devoted to bloggers from both camps in thanks for some quality V-Day content: nerdswithvaginas (for funny cards), comaxblack (for heart/noose!), serbu009 (for pie chart), love-l-forever, fuckyeahlove, and love-itneverfails. And Happy Valentine’s Day everyone. — K.C.

         The Valentine’s Song

    Few men have loved a woman
    as I’ve loved you
    because too few men
    have loved a woman at all.

    Love is a way
    when you are lost.
    Love is a map
    and a compass.

    And I’m grateful every day
    that you found me.


    Love is a song
    when you are deaf.
    Love is a new ear
    that needs no rest.

    And I’m grateful every day
    that you taught me this tune.


    Tonight’s song is about Sleeping Beauty, sang from the perspective of the Prince. I twisted the circumstances of the classic story to make it a bit more…adult; this certainly isn’t the Disney version. Really, when you think about it, the Prince is in a position to make demands like these. This song is devoted to these blogs with quality Sleeping Beauty/Disney content: fairytalemood, thecouplesofdisney, disneyxovers, dandydisney, disneyprincessfanart, butpeterhowdowegettoneverland, and disneyisawesome. Thanks for the inspiration, bloggers.

         Sleeping Beauty

    I have a white horse,
    and I have a chiseled chin.
    I fought a dragon to climb this tower,
    and I beat the old witch.

    But before I wake you from your slumber,
    I want a guarantee
    that when you wake, you’ll climb right back
    into that bed with me.

    A handsome prince like me
    has so many needs.
    Oh, Beauty, I don’t want to sleep;
    I want to lay you down and dream an active dream.

    I’ll bring flowers to all your godmothers,
    and I’ll never ask you to sew.
    And I am in no rush to get married
    or have an heir to the throne.


    This is my third song about a Disney Princess; if you’d like to hear the others, find them via Popular Songs. Would love to get some requests for other, similar songs. Enjoy everyone! — K.C.

    Today’s song is for the beauty Eliza from Manchester over at radikool. An image of her lips was trending this morning. Eli and I noticed because they are quite nice lips. And then we checked out her blog and appreciated her taste in music. Eli knew it was time for a song. We wrote and recorded this in all of an hour. Hope you enjoy, Eliza, and anyone else listening! — K.C.

         Lips Like Yours

    I’ve been with more women
    than I care to admit.
    Good women, bad women,
    and some I forget.
    But I’d settle down,
    and I’d clean up my act

    if I could just get a taste
    of lips like yours.

    Yeah, I’m a drifting man,
    I move round and round.
    But I’d stay right here
    to fix that frown.
    I’d hold a steady job
    just to hold you

    and get a taste
    of lips like yours.

    Lips like yours
    are hard to find.
    Lips like yours
    will keep me satisfied.

    Now, I know what you’ve heard, darlin’,
    and it’s all true.
    But I promise
    I won’t leave you blue.
    Something in a man
    changes and breaks

    when he wants a taste
    of lips like yours.
    And I want a taste
    of lips like yours.

    I wrote this song after Kate Nash binging; it features very barebones guitar work and heavy lyricism. Because of the title, I devote it to two blogs with great images of bruises: bruisesbruise and sweetly-soft-kisses. Because of the meaning, I devote it to xthefuckingdistance (which captures the message of this song in its URL and its content). Thanks for the inspiration, bloggers. And I hope you enjoy, everyone! — K.C.


    When I say the wrong thing at the wrong time,
    and I hurt you even just a little bit,
    a big part of me wants to die,
    as silly as that sounds.

    And I know it ain’t right for me to care that much;
    it ain’t right for me to care like I do.
    My defenses are down, and I’m bound to get bruised.

    But I’ll take the bruises with a smile
    if I get to keep you here a while.

    You won’t always be here because no one ever is.
    All the magic I say you have can’t escape this.
    But I won’t run away because you’re brave and stay
    even though I may be the one to leave one day.
    A day too soon ‘cause any day would be too soon.


    And I get to keep you here a while.
    Yeah, love, we’re a timebomb, and we just can’t read the clock.
    and I dread the bang, and I dread knowing it could be any day…

    It probably ain’t right…

    Cosplayers, this love song is for you. I was first inspired to write a song about cosplay when I saw breams' blog a couple weeks ago. Since then, I have been reading these great blogs for more lyric ideas: gammagahato, fyeakkickasscosplay, fuckyearfinalfantasycosplay, daily-pokemon-cosplays, cosplay-society, loverscosplay, cutecosplayers, and thelittlecosplaythings. I hope all you cosplayers enjoy! Free downloads of this song are available here, and you can stream this on YouTube here. — Kavalier Calm

         More Than Pretend

    When we met, you were so happy
    to meet someone who could play Vash the Stampede.
    When we met, I was just happy
    that somebody was talking to me.

    When we’re together, we play hero and heroine.
    But just once I want to play boyfriend and girlfriend.
    How do I tell you my love is more than pretend?

    We’ve been Aerith and Cloud, Ash and Misty;
    we’ve gone to Comic-con and costume parties.
    You do my make up, and I dye your hair.
    You laugh as I brush it with my hands.


    And you try on your costumes right in front of me.
    Do you think I’m a robot? That I don’t have feelings?
    Well, I can compute every last inch of you,
    and it fills me with joy, and it fills me with hunger.
    A hunger to be real.

    So I go online and buy a bow and arrow,
    a pair of gold boots, and little wings.
    And I go to your room, and I sit you down,
    and at the top of my Cupid lungs, I sing:

    Do you understand? This isn’t pretend.

    And you grab an arrow out of my quiver,
    tuck it under your arm and say, “Yes.”
    And you give me a hug and a kiss on the neck,
    and then I know that we’re more than pretend.

    I wrote this song years ago, before the CI project began—before I was smart enough to realize I wanted to write songs every day. It was written for an old roommate, George, after the real scene detailed in the intro took place. Because this song is about finding love—filling your life with light—I devote it to these blogs: bby-leen and itswhatourheartsareallmadeof (for good thoughts on love in general), temporarynostalgia (because your blog is beautiful and because I want to tell you that you don’t have to wait to find him), onbeingcheesyandpathetic (because that’s what this song is being, really), and lastly to commutermusic (because of your blog’s originality!).  Enjoy everyone! — K.C.

         Do I Need A Lamp?

    George, you need a light
    but not the bulbed kind.
    Don’t just get a lamp at Wal-mart
    because it’s discount priced.
    You need a lantern lady
    to brighten up your days.

    You’ll see soon enough,
    you’ll see in the dark.
    If you find a girl of
    one million watts.
    You need a lantern lady
    to brighten up your days.

    Don’t hesitate, don’t wait,
    everyone is looking.
    And it won’t be long
    until all the good lights are taken.
    Find a lantern lady
    to brighten up your days.

    Come on everyone,
    let’s shed our light on each other.
    We don’t need lamps
    made in factories in China.

    Come on everyone,
    shed your light.

    When Eli told me he wanted to cover Adele’s “Rolling in the Deep,” I was taken aback. Firstly, we are cover-wary because they are over-done and, well, often boring. Secondly, Eli is many things, but a diva is not one of them. I never deny an impulse, though, especially an odd one, so I told him to give it a shot. A couple hours later he came to me with this. I should have known that Mr. Cash would make it his own; his natural bluesy tendencies give the song a new character, and his gravelly voice adds something a diva cannot. I toyed with calling this “The Rolling in the Deep Blues.” I was so enthralled by his performance, I decided to make the first video recording of one of the CI artists performing; if you care to watch it, view it on our YouTube channel here. As always, our posts have devotees. These are the blogs we’ve found with the best Adele content: myqueeniscalledadele, ourqueenadele, rollinginadele, efyeahadele, itsanadelebration, adeleable, and adelenyc. Enjoy everyone!

    Help! I need a song topic. What should I write about?

    Be my inspiration, bloggers. What should I write a song about tonight? I can write about anything. Tell me a story/show me a picture/just give me one word. — K.C.

    Today’s song is for Stephanie over at stephanieisadork. She answered my song request post by suggesting that I write a song about:

    How your bed can be so lonely, yet so comforting, at the same time.

    I liked this suggestion, so I checked out her blog, and I found a poem that she wrote. With her permission, I used much of the language from this poem to shape the lyrics for this song. I managed to combine her poem and the heart of her suggestion into a single tune. This was a wonderful exercise for me because I am a poet first; I originally picked up a guitar to give something extra to some of my poems, some poems that were begging to be sung. If any other poets out there would like to collaborate with me to turn their verses into a song, then please contact me. I also devote this song to some other great blogs I found that are about sleep, poetry, music, or all three: hipsterssleeping, loveletmesleep, sleep-and-poetry, and thetidalsleep. Enjoy everyone, and thanks for the inspiration, Stephanie! — K.C.

         Waking Up

    There is a time to witness the morning,
    to hear the sun wake up
    to see the wind erase the night’s mistakes,
    to smell the sky turning into a blue giant.

    There is a time
    to relive the dreams or nightmares
    soon to be locked away in your head
    in a drawer with a lost key.

    And we roll over, burrow down into
    pillows and sheets to hold onto this time.

    There is a time
    before time and space and theories
    catch up to us—
    when anything is possible,
    when we are greater than the sum of our parts.

    There is a time
    when everything is written
    by one hand,
    a sameness uniting
    the flawed and the perfect.


    Zombies, sex, and a beautiful face are the three topics for this rock song. When I hinted to Bella over at elusivezombie that I wanted to write her a song, I asked which of those three topics I should focus on. She said, “I dislike restricting artists.” What a lovely answer. Thus, I thought up a way to write about all three. I imagined seeing Bella in a coffee shop and what type of story it would take to get her to come home with me. The one in the lyrics just might work. Her only request was distortion, and I gave her heaps of it. I took snippets of language from her poetic blog, like “cozy lies,” “teeky,” and the idea of love-making as a “flow.” Bella, thank you for the inspiration. This post is also devoted to i-heartzombies (who requested a zombie song just last night), to zombiepussyliquor and zombieslaughter (hot zombie lovers like Bella), and to nixombie, zombie-island, and zombiemania (good zombie content blogs)!! When I started this songwriting project, I didn’t know I’d write a zombie-based love song, let alone two. Maybe there will be more? If you want to hear the first one, also, go here. — K.C.

         Cozy Lies

    You are sipping on coffee
    and reading a book on the films of George A. Romero.
    I study your face like it is the first I’ve ever seen,
    with dark eyes like windows,
    and dark curls like frames.

    And I know you are my muse.
    And I know I have to have you,
    and to get you, I’ll tell cozy lies.

    I sit down and tell you I have a secret.
    You humor me and look up from your book.
    I tell you I work in a lab,
    a medical lab, and tomorrow is our big day,
    when we release the virus, a zombie virus,
    and infect the whole population.
    Your eyebrows raise and you cover your mouth
    with your hand all in mock surprise.


    You are too beautiful to suffer this fate, I exclaim.
    I have the vaccine, and you’re the only one I want to save.
    I have the vaccine, and it’s back in my room, hidden under my bed.
    Come with me, and I’ll give it you; I’ll give you all I have.

    So we teeky back to my room,
    and I give you the cure right there on my bed,
    all the cure I’ve got, until you feel far from dead.
    Until we flow, flow together, and feel far from dead.
    And we lay, cozy and living out my lie.

    Nothing you can buy loves you forever. Tonight’s song is two dangerous things: political and opinionated. But it’s also raw and real, and the only thing we’ve ever promised to be at CI is genuine. Eli was playing this song the night I met him, and I finally got him to record it tonight. He’s never told me who the old woman is—the one who woke him up—but he says the story in the song is real. I am proud to post this song because it speaks to the goal of our project—to be human-centric rather than money-centric in our crafting of music and in our giving it to others. This post is devoted to some bloggers whom we feel will appreciate the primary message of this song (the one in the title), if not its entirety: anticapitalist, anarchistart, fuckyeahmarxismleninism, the-fall-of-ideals, theamericanbear, and anarchei. Enjoy. — K.C.

         Nothing you can buy loves you forever

    Well, I was walkin’ down the street,
    when an old lady came up to me.
    She said, “Son, you need to get your priorities straight.”
    I said, “Mamsy, what do you mean?”
    She said, “You have no love to call your own.”
    I said, “Well I love plenty of things; just listen to this poem.”

    I love the shiny shoes I’m walkin’ in,
    and the cheap whiskey you smell on my breath.
    I love the water that I’m bathing in,
    and all the women that I’m bathing with.
    I love my car ‘cause she’s fast as lightning,
    and all the good times I’ve spent on friends,
    and all…

    "Listen here boy," she said.
    Those things won’t stick with you ‘til the grave.
    Nothing, and I say nothing, you can buy loves you forever.
    If you don’t see this now, then you’re really gonna pay.
    Listen to what I have to say.”

    A little rain’ll ruin them shiny shoes
    and eventually that whiskey bottle’ll be empty.
    Wells dry up if we misuse ‘em,
    and when you’re old, nothing in a skirt wants you.
    That car of lightning dies faster than thunder.
    And how many of those friends are worth being with?
    At the end of the day what memories are lasting?
    What kind of future are you setting yourself up with?

    I think I get it. All these things,
    all this stuff we can buy, cluttering up our world,
    it ain’t worth nothing.
    Nothing you can buy loves you forever.
    So where do we get love?
    Where can we find love?
    That’s right; in each other.
    All we gotta do is love each other.
    Love each other.

    Remember the old lady you helped across the street,
    and the hungry man you gave your pocket change.
    Remember the person who showed you how to make love.
    and the mother you haven’t called in months,
    All these people, they touch our hearts,
    it’s them, it’s them, we’ll remember.
    So stand up now and shake your neighbor’s hand.
    Stand up now and throw your wallet to the ground
    'cause nothing you can buy loves you forever.
    All we have now is each other.

    Tonight’s song is for the forget-me-not over at hobophonics. I found this muse because she is a friend of the last; I wish muses always came in pairs. I wanted to write her a song because 1) she’s beautiful (dark hair and eyes are the shortcut to my heart), 2) she’s in the midst of a no make-up challenge (which I respect—plus she still looks beautiful), and 3) her blog’s simple title, that hyphenated name, wouldn’t get out of my head. I sat down a couple of hours ago, and my heart and hands made this. It is some of the simplest songwriting I’ve ever done, and yet I think it is some of my best work yet. Hypothetical it may be, but I was choking up trying to record it. Thank you, muse. I also devote this post to some other cool blogs I found searching #forget-me-not: una-vida-colorida, lyricsbird, crazedandchaotic, ochdearme, basements-made-of-music, and indiecrush. Enjoy, bloggers, and thanks for the inspiration! — K.C.


    I wake you in the morning,
    with a bouquet of forget-me-nots;
    I tell you they remind me of you:
    small, beautiful, and often blue.

    I don’t know what may come between,
    but I won’t forget you or this day.
    Forget-me-not, I’ll live by your name.

    You laugh as I throw you over my shoulder
    and carry you down the stairs.
    You beg to know where we’re going,
    and I say, “It’s a surprise.”
    No time for clothes or make-up;
    today you’re just mine.


    The basket of food and wine is packed,
    and the blanket, the books, and cigarettes.
    You smile and hold my hand as I drive,
    and I call you my flower, my sunshine.
    You ask what’s the occasion,
    and I say, “Us.”


    And as we sit by the riverside,
    I watch you blink our time away.
    I bury my face in your hair
    and breathe in your memory.
    I store you somewhere safe,
    deep in my mind.



    Tonight’s rock song was made with some samples from old technology: a Talking Whiz Kid. I got this when I was a boy, and I played the hell out of its number games when I was young. I found it in the closet the other day, and I couldn’t believe it still works. You know a technology is old when it advertises—in its name—that it has the ability to talk. When I turned it on, I was captivated by all the lo-fi sounds this machine makes—sounds of victory and defeat. I recorded it speaking a number of words and accidentally made it spell the compound word in the title; I instantly knew I had a song. The funny thing is Siri doesn’t sound any more sophisticated. This tune is about two people who are falling in love, but they are both denying it. I devote it to these awesome gaming/old technology/music blogs: derekgheck-yeah-old-tech, nerdology, videogamenostalgia, justintr, and thestrutny. Enjoy everyone!


    You’re like a spider
    weaving me into your web,
    and I could escape,
    but I’d rather stay here instead.
    You’re like a bear,
    and I’m a hive full of honey,
    and though you’re bound to get stung,
    you just can’t say no.

    You have a plot,
    you have a plan
    to win the lovegame.

    We’re on the same adventure,
    in the same dark cavern,
    neither of us wants
    to share that treasure.
    You give something up
    when you give it up.
    Lose your heart, lose your head,
    lose your freedom, lose the game.


    Who will find it first?
    The truth and the feel.
    Rub it in the face of the other,
    act like it ain’t real.


    Home. Clementine said she wrote this song because she feels “in between homes—sort of unmoored.” As I detail in her bio, Clem is working for a traveling circus; the desire to settle, to “come home,” is growing in her. This song is generally devoted to anyone who has this feeling. Specifically, it is devoted to these blogs about homesmyidealhome and yourdreamhome—and these blogs with great love content: bringhappinesstome, babyhush, daisydukes-, these-things-i-love. Enjoy everyone! — K.C.


    Someone once said, “Home is where they take you in,”
    and I like the sound of that, I do.
    But I don’t wanna go someplace I’ve already been;
    I want to be home for someone, for you.

    Yeah, I wanna be your coffee in the morning.
    I wanna be your kiss goodnight.
    I wanna be your pajamas, your picture
    on the refrigerator door.
    I want to be what feels right.

    I’ve seen it written: “Home is where the heart is.”
    A little sweet for me, but sounds about right.
    Learning how to belong doesn’t take much thought;
    your head shouldn’t put up a hell of a fight.


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