In tonight’s song, I’ve fallen in love with Jacqueline of House Slytherin. I was inspired to write this song by Jacqui at jacquislytherin after she gave me a list of good reasons she wishes she was at Hogwarts. I put all those reasons in the lyrics and many other references to Harry Potter. Can you spot them all, HP fans? Free downloads of this song are here; just enter $0 as the price. And you can watch me perform this on YouTube here; comment or something if you like my work. — Kavalier Calm
Jacqueline of Slytherin
I’m a simple wizard from Hufflepuff,
and I got mixed up in a dangerous love.
She’s a girl of the purest blood,
and I’m little old me.
Well, we met in choir singing Gothic tunes,
and I couldn’t take my eyes off of you.
Did you learn this spell in Charms?
Or is this my heart?
Oh, Jacqueline of Slytherin,
I could learn Parseltongue
if that’s the language it takes
to tell you you’re the one.
Well, I admit I learned sneaking spells
so I could follow you around,
and now I know you have more to offer
than a box of Bott’s beans.
Your friends, the mermaids in Black Lake,
told me you hope to Profess one day.
I wish you taught History of Magic,
so I could stay awake.
I told the Bloody Baron about my blues
'cause he knows a thing or two
about how love can drive a man
to raise the stakes.
He urged me not to wait
'cause when you're a ghost, it's too late.
So I’ve cornered you after Ancient Runes
to tell you the truth:
Keep submitting song requests, friends.