Kavalier Calm's Crowdsource Inspiration

I'm KC, The People's Bard. I write songs and poems inspired by the people I meet on the internet. Ask, and I’ll write something for you.
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  • I’ve written another Disney Princess song, this time a satire about Ariel. This song’s about why I’d rather not fall in love with a mermaid. Sorry, Ariel. This is tasteful humor, I assure you; the lyrics are wonderfully subtle (until the last word). I’m devoting this post to some of my favorite blogs with inspiring LOL/audio content: stream.pleated-jeans, alan-hanson, carolineeand, and kellaroot. Couldn’t go a day without posting for my followers—even though I’m on the road—so I wrote and recorded this in the back seat of my car. The grainy audio has a certain charm at least. My other Disney Princess songs can be found here and here. As always, if you like CI’s work, share it! Enjoy your weekend everyone! — K.C.

         Mermaid, You Ain’t Got The One Thing I Want

    When I fished you out of the ocean, you told me you were on the run—
    from a Sea Witch, from opulence, from the water.
    You begged to be saved, you promised to give me love;
    but Mermaid, you ain’t got the one thing I want.

    Mermaid, you can’t have what I want between
    if you don’t have legs.

    I was trying to catch a meal, and I caught a problem.
    Why would I  take the baggage of a woman without the one joy that follows?
    Something smells fishy and not in the way I like.
    This is a raw deal; your sashima ain’t shaped right.

    CHORUS

    You are a miracle, a rare magic maid,
    but it don’t mean nothing to my common need.
    Sorry, Mermaid, but I’m throwing you back.
    Don’t grab my bait again ‘til you find legs. And a snatch.

    5 notes

    1. crowdsourceinspiration posted this